My Chrysalis

The journey to becoming like Christ takes a lifetime. Along this journey we all will face different seasons, designed by God, for specific purposes. Unlike the seasons on our calenders, these seasons don't necessarily happen in a certain order and it seems impossible to determine how long they will last. Actually I believe the length of the season has more to do with how we respond to the season than anything else. My difficult seasons seem to last a loooonggg time. I tend to be a stubborn, bullheaded one. I believe we pass through the seasons many times on our journey but each time is different. Each time God does a deeper work within us.

No season is as difficult to go through as the season of darkness. As I said earlier my seasons seem to be lengthy and this season of darkness was not an exception. It is painful and there are moments of great doubt, fear, and challenges that threaten to rock your faith. I call it a season of darkness because the pain and disappointment is severe enough to be called death. I believe this season is unavoidable in our spiritual journey. Well, I'm not completely sure "ALL" Christians experience it, but I know many have and those that have know it is real, it is dark, and it is difficult. It is a time of brokenness that eventually leads to incredible change and blessings. It's a time of deep transformation in a place of personal darkness. A chrysalis. I wish I had a more rugged, manly example but I guess this is part of that work of humility.

During this time of darkness and difficulty God is at work. He starts revealing impurities and sin in our own life that greatly affect our relationship with Him. He begins to expose weaknesses in our foundations that need serious attention. This season of darkness, weakness, and suffering reshapes us and begins to give us a new approach or direction to our journey.

Throughout this extended season I have asked God, "Why?" on numerous occasions. God has revealed several reasons why He has allowed this season.

1. to create humility
2. to reveal my weaknesses
3. to prove His greatness
4. to break pride
5. to cleanse my soul
6. to prevent spiritual apathy
7. to teach me deep spiritual truths that I would not learn any other way.
8. to remind me to pursue Him
9. to test me
10. to make me more like Jesus

This season of darkness has created an intimacy like nothing else could do. The difficulties were not the toughest part, it was the surrendering to Him that made the season so long and so dark. Surrender and a willingness to be broken and transformed were/are the keys to this seasons end. In that end the time of pain becomes the source of one of life's greatest blessings...being transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

My Adversity Creates His Strength

As I was looking through some boxes this weekend, (trying to find some old Walk to Emmaus stuff), I came across some photos of my step-mom in her last days battling brain cancer. I found my certificate for being baptized in the river and many other things that reminded me of the past 6 years of my spiritual journey. I looked through some old tablets where I wrote down my thoughts and expressed my fears, feelings and doubts of ever overcoming the situation I was in at the time. It is amazing to look back and see what God has done and to see how He used those trials and adversities to shape, mold, and mature my faith in Him.

God tells us in the book of John that in this world their will be tribulation but to be of good cheer because He has overcome the world. How many believers believe that so much that they live it out? I know I have failed to believe it at times. When I have been in the middle of the tribulation I certainly didn't feel or have much "good cheer". But the strain and adversity of this life gives me strength. It deepens my faith. It seems God didn't give me an overcoming faith but He gives me faith as I am overcoming.

A man from our Tuesday night group told a great analogy last week. He said our faith is like a river and our lives produce big stones. These big stones are the trials, the tribulations, and the adversity that are thrown into our river of faith. When our faith runs deep and the big stones are thrown in, it makes a splash but no other signs are noticed. The river quickly returns to normal. When our faith is shallow and the big stones are thrown in, it not only makes a splash but it stirs up and surfaces the mud that is just below the surface. It takes a significant amount of time to overcome and return to normal.

All that being said, I received an email this morning that quotes Ohio State head football coach Jim Tressel telling a story that seemed to say it better than any.

The Lakota Sioux consider bravery (wo-oh-hee-tee-keh in their language) to be a central virtue or value. But they understand that, as time goes on, the young brave will be shaped and strengthened by his challenges, tempered through adversity.

The ancient Lakota hunter warriors handcrafted their own bows from seasoned ash wood. There were two ways to acquire the proper wood. The conventional way was to find a young ash tree, harvest it, and let it dry for at least five years. But the hunter warriors were always on the lookout for a mature ash tree that had been struck by lightning. Such a tree had been dried and cured in an instant by the awesome power of lightening, and any bows made from it would be much stronger. Such trees were rare, but they were preferred because they had suffered the ultimate adversity, and ultimate adversity produces ultimate strength.

www.frangipane.org

This really hit home for me. I just wanted to share it. Thank you Francis. You may visit his website at www.frangipane.org I always find some good food for thought there.

The Cup Part One: The Death of Ambition
by Francis Frangipane
(En Español)

When I first came to Christ, the Lord gave me a dream about my future. I thought that everything the Lord said was supposed to occur immediately; I didn't know of the work of preparation and dying to self, of learning patience and maintaining vision through testing, that would occur before God's promise would find fulfillment. Consequently, I was filled with ambition. Ambition is the first motive that arises in the spiritually immature. I was like the disciples who, a few days after Jesus' resurrection, were already asking, "Lord, is it at this time You are restoring the kingdom?" (Acts 1:6).

Ambition is very deceptive. It can seem just like obedience, yet because we don't truly know the Lord, the voice we find ourselves obeying is not God's, but our own. Our vision can actually be from God, but our motive be self. Consequently, where there is ambition, James tells us there will soon emerge "disorder and every evil thing" (James 3:16). Why? Because we begin thinking we can accomplish the will of God through the strength of man. We are seeking a breakthrough; God wants to give us brokenness.

The spiritually immature do not recognize their immaturity because they are immature. Thus, they become impatient, fearful and demanding. Because pride blinds the ambitious, we presume we are ready for greater assignments in God. In fact, we become a harder assignment for those who work with us, for our actions continually generate strife.

Ambition seeks to put to death what stands between it and spiritual fulfillment. Yet, it is ambition itself that must die to reach fulfillment. Webster's tells us that ambition is "an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as wealth or fame, and the willingness to strive for it." The word translated "ambition" in the NAS is rendered "strife" in the King James. Truly, ambition is a major cause for strife, church splits and conflicts within the church.

I thought having a promise from God was the same thing as receiving a commandment from God. I did not understand what I personally lacked in character or what I needed to attain concerning faithfulness, becoming a bond-servant, and possessing a grateful heart. These things needed to be worked in me before God would truly begin to fulfill His larger promises and opportunities. What I became for God was more important than what I did for Him.

Today, I am living in the spiritual substance of what was just a dream thirty-eight years ago. My ambitions have suffered greatly, yet my dreams are being fulfilled. While I have not yet arrived at the greatest aspects of my calling, I understand the difference between ambition and true leadership and it is this: Ministry is not a call to lead, but to die.

Every advance that I have made spiritually was preceded by an opportunity to die to self. The power in my life comes from where I have died to self and now live unto Christ.

Do you want to advance spiritually? The gateway to resurrection power is crucifixion. God will arrange opportunities for you to die to self. You must discern them. Dying to self and its ambition is the means of reaching true spiritual fulfillment. If you react to the opportunity to die with fleshly anger or resentment, you will fail to reach fulfillment. However, if you can maintain your vision even while your ambition dies, you will succeed.

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The Unseen Force

A couple months ago I was running my Fed Ex Ground route and came to an intersection with a sign that read ROAD CLOSED. I looked down the road past the signs and saw alot of flashing lights and what appeared to be a catastrophe at a railroad crossing. I had a package to deliver on this road and I was pretty sure it was on the other side of the tracks. I wasn't positive but almost certain. I figured I had better go check before I drove all the way around and found out I was wrong. I drove around the signs and got closer and closer to the lights. I could now see that there were several railcars off the track. I came to the last driveway before the track and a railroad employee waved his hands frantically and motioned for me to turn around. He appeared a little agitated as he walked towards my truck. "Can't you read the signs buddy?" he yells towards me. I explained I had a package and wasn't sure which side it was on. I asked him if anyone was hurt and if they knew what caused it. He said no one was hurt and the wind is what caused it. I said something like I never dreamed the wind could blow over a freight train. He said it only happens when the containers are double stacked and empty. I turned around and drove several miles out of my way to make my delivery.

As I drove away I began to think about what had happened and what the man had said. Here is this huge, powerful freight train cruising down the track. I did some research and discovered the locomotive weighs in excess of 270,000 pounds. It contains a turbo-charged V12 diesel engine that produces 4,000 horsepower and weighs 30,000 pounds itself. It has the capability to move at speeds of 110 mph. It holds 4,900 gallons of fuel. This thing is unstoppable. It's leading the way down a track that is straight and narrow. The containers are being lead down that same clear path. No obstacles. Not even a hill or a curve. They are double stacked but empty. That is the key to the disaster. Double stacked and empty. Taken out by an unseen force, the wind. No one could have seen it coming. There was a message in this somewhere.



How easy is it to be following God down the path He desires for us only to be blindsided by an unseen force that causes us to derail and crash? I know first hand how easy it is to be caught up in doing ministry, serving here and getting involved there. Reading the books on the christian best seller list and going to church and doing great stuff. All the while sacrificing time alone with God. The prayer time suffers. The time in His Word suffers. The spiritual disciplines are an afterthought. I am beginning to stack stuff up in my life. I am busy but I am becoming empty. I am pouring out constantly but not pouring the stuff in that carries weight and gives me spiritual strength. I am moving 90 mph and have become a double stacked empty shell. I'm a prime candidate for disaster. The unseen force blindsides me and I have no weight, strength or substance to rely on. Satan knows my weakness and exploits it. My world is rocked and I can't understand what has happened. I was on the right path, how could this happen? My life now looks like a train wreck. It takes time to clean up the mess. What is even worse is that often those that are following closely get derailed too. Not all train wrecks are injury free. Sometimes there are casualties. Others that were headed my direction must now take detours. Their journey will have added miles due to my weakness. Bottom line, the impact is far beyond myself.
My negligence can cause a real mess for many around me.

Notice the small trees in the pictures below. They withstood the winds and the force of the containers. The containers are actually wrapped around the trees. The trees are much smaller and outwardly would appear weaker. But they stood strong. Not because of what is seen, but because of a strength that is unseen. Their roots are firm and deep. A beautiful picture of not only surviving the storm but being strong enough to support others who weren't.

Why?

When trials and troubles come we do not need reasons, we need comfort. We do not need some answers, we need someone. Jesus never comes with an explanation, He comes to us with His presence.

It seems I am always seeking the reason, the purpose. I want to know why. I want God to just tell me what is going on. As I reflect on those tough times, I realize God does not reveal his plans, He reveals himself.

• He comes as hope when we feel hopeless.
• He comes as faith when we are discouraged.
  
• He comes as warmth when we are cold.
• He comes as fellowship when we are alone.
• He comes as strength when we are weak.
• He comes as peace when we are troubled.
• He comes as courage when we are afraid.
• He comes as a song when we are sad.
• He comes as bread when we are hungry.
• He comes as water when we are thirsty.

He supplies what we need. With his grace the trial or trouble can be endured. It is then, after the fact, that He begins to reveal the reason or purpose of the difficult situation. In my experiences it has always worked for good. He uses it to teach me, sanctify me, humble me, or to give me new areas to minister to others. He may use it for the sole purpose of bringing glory to himself. I know this all too well, but when the next trial comes I will still be asking,"Why?" But why?

The Test

People give their lives to Jesus for many reasons. Some come for emotional or physical healing. Others come seeking peace or forgiveness. Others might just have problems or struggles and have tried everything else and as a result have nowhere else to turn. I fall into the latter. Regardless, God meets us wherever we might be.

God uses our needs to draw us to Christ. We often come to Him so focused on our need that we put God in a box. I was looking for God to work only in the areas of my life that I thought I needed Him. Primarily in the areas of deliverance from many addictions and healing and restoration in my marriage. Once I experienced His forgiveness, deliverance, healing and restoration in those areas of my life I thought I had experienced the fullness of Christ. I hit the spiritual ceiling. I had no idea there was a deeper calling. A calling of growing into the likeness of Christ.

The Spirit of God is committed to our personal transformation. In John 17:17 Jesus speaks of being sanctified by the truth and the truth being God's word. I remember hearing a sermon about progressive sanctification. It spoke of how God will continue to use His word to convict us and purify our hearts and minds. God's word will speak to us in a much deeper way. It also spoke on how this is a journey that will never end until we see Jesus face to face.

As I walk further down the corridor of my spiritual journey, I have come to the realization that I am progressively facing greater challenges. In the beginning it seemed as if I moved along quickly, without an extreme amount of effort. Now it seems I'm at the point where God is putting me in situations where the old man must die. He places me in circumstances where the only way to carry on is to be like Christ. As a result this journey seems to have slowed. This isn't coming easy. It is actually the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. Growing pains I guess. Things I thought I knew and understood have been brought back for testing.

I've been the student and Jesus has been the teacher. I professed how well I knew and understood the lesson. As a result God says, great, now I will test you. God's tests are always open book. The book teaches and informs but the application comes from us. I knew the text but I didn't fully understand it. I wasn't prepared for the exam. In the middle of it I was so confused that I cried out for help, but the teacher doesn't speak during the test. I have failed this same test for 5 months now. God has given me tutors. The great thing is they don't even know God is using them to help me pass this test. I believe a passing grade is coming.

Is God testing you? If He is, are you passing or failing? Are you prepared for the next examination? Is the Word of God speaking to you in fresh and meaningful ways? Are you avoiding the test? Are you content being in the grade your in?

I've come to realize that when we pass a test, life does not necessarily come easier. In fact, what occurs is we soon graduate into something more difficult. And it is there, in the more difficult test, that we become sanctified into the image of Christ.

GOT ROOTS?

Wow. I guess I'll welcome myself to the 21st century. This should be interesting. I've never been consistent writing down my thoughts, so hunting and pecking 1 letter at a time ought to encourage me to do it more often.

The picture I chose not only fits the name of my blog, but it fits with how I've been feeling in so many ways. First of all it has been a season of solitude. Not because others have left me, but it seems that God has called me from them. It has been a season of strong storms. Winds and rains that have tested me and my faith. It has been a dormant season from all outward appearances. I haven't been producing much fruit in the last 3 months, but there has been tremendous growth under the surface. Growth in the inner man. My roots have grown deeper and reached farther to find more living water and fertile soil within the rock on which I am planted. The outward growth is always the most impressive, but without a healthy, strong root system, anchored in stable, solid ground the mighty tree is sure to fall. God knows what is best for us. He knew of the dormant season I needed, even though I didn't. He created it even though I didn't like it. He brought the storms even though I didn't want them. He knows how to grow us. He knows how to test us. It's so easy to praise and trust Him when the sun is shining and the cool breeze blows. How do we react when the sun scorches us and the the cold winter winds are relentless? I believe the answer lies under the surface. GOT ROOTS? If so what are they rooted in? The shifting sands of the world, (hope it wasn't in your 401k), or the NEVER changing God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Get rooted on the ROCK.