Trusted Friends

Trusting someone does not mean that we have thoroughly tested that person out and proved that they are trustworthy. Our trust is not based on proof but on a sense, or a instinct, or maybe a feeling. Trust comes from some experience of the other person. Most often trust grows in a relationship of mutual love. One in which we have loved and been loved by the other.

In my efforts to overcome lifelong struggles of insecurity, loneliness, and deep emotional wounding, I have been aided immeasurably by trusted and trusting friends who, with no ulterior motive, see something in me I can't see in myself. They don't just tell me, they relate to me in a way which shows me that I do have value, I do have something to offer, and that I am lovable.

Honesty with others and with ourselves is seldom found in the world or even in the church. To disclose dark secrets to another is risky business. People often sense that if I bare my soul, I will be abandoned by my friends and ridiculed by my enemies. It takes trust and true friendship to confess who you really are and what you are truly feeling and thinking.

But what means the most to me is if a word of correction is needed and the friend offers it directly. ACCOUNTABILITY. I need it! Big time! I admire a friend who has the courage to tell me something unpleasant but necessary - you know, something that others should tell me but don't. (I believe they don't for fear that I won't like them or that I will be angry with them. However they are doing me a huge disservice because they are more concerned with keeping me happy, or not hurting my feelings, than growing me spiritually. ) Just as I need trusted friends to reveal the positive attributes in my life that I don't see, I need them even more to reveal the negative attributes I don't see. It stings at first but when it comes from a trusted friend I know it's because they want whats best for me.

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.