An Unschooled Ordinary Guy

What I'm Listening To

2011-12-05T21:41:00.002-05:00

I like clean, simple worship. In the quietness of my moments alone, one way I draw near to the Father is through the simplicity of slow, reflective and heartfelt music. I'm loving much of Jonathon's stuff right now.

Notes from church

2011-11-13T19:32:00.000-05:00

As I was sitting in church this morning God's Spirit testified to mine as our pastor spoke of Peter's words in 2 Peter 1:1. We have actually spent the past 6 weeks in 1 Peter 5, focusing on humility, so I am sure that also had some influence on the words that were given to me. I can't remember what the pastor said that triggered it but I do know it had to do with Peter calling himself a servant which actually means slave. Regardless, I wrote it down quickly before it escaped me.

As long as I think I am something, God can not be everything. God can not be everything until I become nothing. BUT GOD is everything in that He specializes in making something out of nothing.

1 Peter 5:6 seems to reinforce those words well. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time."

I Wanna Be A Plow Boy

2011-10-30T22:58:00.001-04:00

I have had many thoughts and blog ideas tumbling around in my head over the past few months but have not seemed to be able to write or post any. This one just seems to keep coming back to me. It seems clear in my head but seems so difficult for me to articulate it into words. I hope it makes sense.

I know and understand we are in an era of no-till farming. However I am old school and I live and work in an area where I continue to see the Amish work the land the old fashion way. Therefore, in my mind and for this analogy I am declaring that there are two kinds of ground. Fallow ground and ground that has been broken up by the plow.

The fallow ground is solid, content, protected from the shock of the plow and the agitation of the harrow or the disc that follows. As it lies year after year it becomes familiar to those that routinely encounter it. The deer and the crow probably use it as a landmark. If it could think, it would probably be quite satisfied with itself. It would be proud of it's reputation of being steadfast and stable. It could always be counted on to never change. While much around it changes throughout the seasons, it remains the same. Safe and undisturbed, it is a great picture of contentment. However, there is a price to pay for it's tranquility. It never experiences the miracle of a seed bursting into new life, or the wonder of continued growth, or the beauty of ripening grain. It can never know fruit because it never experienced the plow.

Obviously the plowed ground is the direct opposite of this. The cultivated field has yielded itself to the adventure of living. It's gate was opened wide to allow the plow in to do it's work. It's peace and tranquility is shattered by the force of the plow and the rattle of machinery. When the plow is finished the land has felt the pain of change. It has been upset, turned over, bruised and broken , but it's rewards will come from it's brokenness. ( I could preach that!) The new seed will shoot up and God's hand is at work all over that field. New things are born, then grow to maturity for a harvest. Miracles follow the plow.

Our lives can be very similar to these fields.

The man with the fallow life is content with the fruit or harvest he once produced. (or still sharing the same old testimony of what God did in his life years earlier) He doesn't want to be disturbed. Any spirit of adventure is dead within him. He is steady, maybe even called faithful, because he is always in his place. He has become a landmark in his church, but he is fruitless. The worst thing is that this man IS what he WILL ALWAYS BE. He has fenced himself in and when that happens you also fence out God and the miracle that could have been. This is where I feel I have been for quite some time now. A spiritual comatose.

On the contrary, the plowed life. (This is where I am going or where I am desiring to go.) The urge of the Spirit, the pressure of circumstances, and the frustration of fruitless living have combined to stir and humble my heart. Discontentment and a yearning for courageous obedience to the will of God have bruised and broken the soil and it is ready again for a new season and a new seed. Prayer, repentance and confession opened the gate. The law of sowing and reaping cannot be broken. Fruit and harvest always follow the plow. Life and growth begin as God rains down righteousness.

Hosea 10:12 ESV Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you.

Then I can testify that the hand of the Lord was upon me there. Yes it's difficult, and yes it hurts in some ways, but it will never compare to the joy that is to come.

I also believe this applies to the local church. The church that fears or resists the plow will be barren or die while the church that uses the plow walks in the way of growth and revival.

Wise Words For Leaders

2011-10-16T20:37:00.000-04:00

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Counting The Cost

2011-07-27T00:21:00.000-04:00

A friend sent me a text about his thoughts on Matthew 16:24 last night. The verse reads, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me". His text was a great bonus devotional for me this morning. We chatted about it tonight at men's group but quickly moved on to many other things. However, it kept rolling around in my head. I knew the verse well but tonight God revealed it to me in a new light. So here I am at midnight capturing these thoughts because in the morning they will be gone, nowhere to be found.

Being a disciple means everything. Everything you are, everything you have. That's why some of the most miserable people I know are Christians who aren't willing to take it all the way. I would guess that a healthy, bible preaching church is uncomfortable for them because it keeps confronting them with their sins. Sin is uncomfortable for them because the Spirit has removed the guiltless fun out of it and replaced it with conviction. Relationships would be uncomfortable too because being a Christian in one place and a heathen in another would make life hard to keep up with and manage. The call of God would stir in their heart but the call of the world would be even louder and hard to escape. So having one foot in one world and your other foot in another world would be miserable. It would seem like they would know the worst of each world. Nothing but empty promises of sin and then the overwhelming nagging pain of a guilty conscience through the Spirit's conviction. Wow...and they think God's ways are hard. The road to the good life is narrow and pretty steep in some places but the view is awesome and the experiences are unforgettable! If you choose to walk it you will find everything your heart desires. Everything!

New Hope And Community

2011-07-24T22:27:00.001-04:00

Recently I discovered, or remembered, I attend a church that has "community" as it's middle name, New Hope Community Church. Most people drop the community part and just call it New Hope. That struck me in a new and profound way. Why do we do this? Are we just too lazy to say it? Probably. Do most just think the "community" part isn't as important as the "New Hope" part? I hope not. Does it just sound cooler or trendier to say, "New Hope", as opposed to saying "New Hope Community Church"? Possibly. Regardless it sent my mind reeling down many different pathways. I know this might become lengthy but hey...I haven't had much to say lately.

God calls us to community. We know that from the Bible. We know it from Christian tradition. I also believe we know it from the yearnings of our own hearts.

But what, exactly, does community mean to us? What is it we are called to or looking for in the church, in our family, or in friendship? The first time I asked myself these questions I had a difficult time putting my answers into words. I then discovered this was cause for concern. Without an accurate viewpoint of what life lived out together actually is, we may settle for something that falls short of what community truly is. Or on the flip side we may not recognize community when we are living in the midst of it.

As I searched for answers in my brain I continued to come up empty. Yeah, ha ha, no big surprise huh!? It is the yearnings God places in our hearts that is key, not the thoughts or ideas we create. So I begin to search His Word for the answer. Always a good place to look for answers.

The first image of community is found in Genesis. Here community is portrayed as oneness in my thought or harmonious as I read. What struck me most powerfully was in Genesis 2:28 it reads "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." That resonates deep in my soul. That is a dream of what pure, perfect community would mean to me. (No, I don't mean without clothes!) As we come into community we hope to find a harmony that is not available in the larger world. We hope we can at least be naked --open & vulnerable to all the pains and failings of our lives--without ever having to feel shame about who and how we are. I believe this image from Genesis has a powerful influence to our expectations and to the yearnings that God has placed in our hearts for what community is and could be. At least that is what seems true in my experience.

The last image of community is found in Revelation 21:3-4, "Now the dwelling of God is with men and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order has passed away." This too resonates deep in my soul and draws me to a place of community where there is comfort, and where there is purity, as described in the New Jerusalem. This speaks of how we come into community hoping to find a safer & more sacred "city" than the cities we have known. We come into community hoping our struggles will be lifted and that the kingdom of God might arrive. This "New Jerusalem", like the garden in Genesis, has a profound impact on our image of what community should be.

BUT the experience of community is nothing like the garden or the New Jerusalem. Not, at least, after a short period of time. Many times we experience that initial rush or euphoria with the new marriage, or the new friendship, or the new church. But soon the honeymoon is over and that euphoria fades and dies. We begin to realize that it isn't all harmonious here, that it is not entirely safe to be naked with each other, that this earth is not yet heavenly, that even if our old tears are wiped away, new ones will come. As the euphoria dies and our images of community crumble we react in many different ways. Well, I have reacted in many different ways I should say.

First off, I have chosen to stay in community--sort of--but withdrawn my hopes and enthusiasm and energies. Basically pretending like it is real community but knowing that it really wasn't. The Bible refers to this as lukewarm. I think this is the condition of many of our churches. People have dealt with their disappointment by "sort of" staying in community with each other, but not at any depth or with much vulnerability or transparency. I have also simply abandon my hopes for community and sought isolation and individualism. This creates even further problems such as becoming critical, cynical and no longer believing that true community can or does even exist. However, there is a healthier, more difficult, third option. To just keep on keeping on. To press deeper into the experience of your disappointment to see what it has to teach us. To abandon the romantic images of what we think community is and then look for new images that have the power to explain what is really happening & then find new creative, healthy ways to deal with it. As I try to live this out I realize we live in between the garden & the New Jerusalem. The garden was before the fall of man and the New Jerusalem is not until Christ's return. This does not mean they are irrelevant but it does mean we need to find an image of community that comes from the history of the reality in which we live.

Once again, the Bible provides the image. I can think of no greater record of Christ gathering people into community than the Last Supper. What does this story reveal to us about community? What does it teach us about how to keep keeping on? Well, here is Jesus who has been pouring out his life for the people sitting around the table. Now he has brought them together as friends/ family, showing hospitality and breaking bread together and passing the cup. And what do these people do? They deny the word's of Jesus proclaiming not one of them would betray him, and they squabble and fight for position in determining which of them is the greatest. These guys act out two of the greatest issues that make community difficult...pride and arrogance. What does Jesus do in the midst of all this? Being fully human, he must have been tempted to get up & leave just as we are when our romantic images of community fail. But Jesus does not leave. Instead he keeps breaking the bread & passing the cup. Both here and the rest of the story he shows his commitment to staying at the table.

If we are to follow Jesus Christ we need to make every attempt to stay at the table with our own families, communities, and churches. It certainly doesn't mean that there are not times relationships must be judged as failures and we must make the decision to separate and move on. But, too many of us make that decision too quickly and easily with very little thought or reason. We need to learn that betrayal & conflict and all the other demons that pop up when true community happens are not necessarily then end of true community. God does mighty works in the midst of our brokenness. And nowhere else is that brokenness more evident than in our fragile and failed attempts to create community. Jesus proved it for us at that table.

So let's live in community with the memory of the garden and the New Jerusalem, but also with the knowledge that we are joining Jesus at the Last Supper, in the challenge of staying at the table.

And no longer will I be calling our church New Hope. It's now New Hope Community for me... because it not only taught me about the New Hope I needed and now have, but it has taught me what community is and what it means and costs to be a part of a real one. God is so good.

Shut Up, Get Out Of The Way, And Wait

2011-07-17T20:20:00.000-04:00

The hardest part of faith is often simply to wait. and, the trouble is, if we don't, then we start to fix the problem ourselves and that makes it worse. We complicate the situation to the point where it takes God much longer to fix it than if we had quietly waited for his working in the first place.

The timing of God is often a mystery to us, and even sometimes a frustration. But we must not give up. We must not try to implement our own ideas and create or arrange our own solutions. Instead we must continue believing and waiting on God. Thankfully we will not be alone as we patiently wait for his answer in his time. We will be joining a great host of saints down through the ages whose faith was tested and purified by waiting for God.

One of my favorites if not the greatest example is David. He testifies in Psalm 40:1, "I waited patiently for the Lord." Instead of taking matters in his own hands or doubting God would do anything at all, David learned to wait for God to work out his plan in his time. But after awhile, God proved his faithfulness as always, and David continued his testimony by adding,(v. 1&2) "He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." What happened was all glorious but it came only after a time of waiting in faith.

I write these things to remind and encourage myself from the Word of God. I also pray that it encourages and reminds you. Don't give up today and don't give in to the voices of unbelief, discouragement and impatience because those voices are not of our "Comforter", the Holy Spirit, but are from our enemy the liar & the accuser.

Let's PARTY!!!

2011-05-08T16:56:00.000-04:00

I love seeing people get excited about the word of God.

The Kimyal People Receive the New Testament from UFM Worldwide on Vimeo.

A Song For Yesterday

2011-05-05T22:10:00.000-04:00

When the world welcomes us in,
We're closer to Heaven than we'll ever know
They say this place has changed,
But strip away all of the technology
And you will see
That we all are hunters,
Hunting for something
That will make us okay.

Here we lay alone
In hospital beds tracing life in our heads
But all that is left
Is that this was our entrance and now it's our exit,
As we find our way home.

And all the blood and all the sweat
That we invested to be loved
Follows us, into our end,
Where we begin to understand.

We are made of love,
And all the beauty stemming from it.
We are made of love,
And every fracture caused by the lack of it.

"You were a million years of work,"
Said God and His angels, with needle and thread.
They kissed your head and said,
"You're a good kid, and you make us proud.
So just give your best and the rest will come,
And we'll see you soon."

And all the blood and all the sweat
That we invested to be loved,
Follows us into our end
We begin to understand

Maybe Hollywood was right:
When the credits have rolled and the tears have dried,
And the answers that we have been dying to find
Are all pieced together and, somehow,
Made perfectly mine, mine, mine
Made perfectly mine

We are made of love,
And all the beauty stemming from it.
We are made of love,
And every fracture caused by the lack of love.
Caused by the lack of love

Share The Vision

2011-05-04T10:36:00.000-04:00

If you are going to expect me to follow you, you will need to share your vision clearly. I mean so clearly that my own vision seems blurred in comparison to what you have just shared. Once that happens I will follow because your vision will become mine.

"What makes people work is an idea worth working for, along with a clear understanding of what needs to be done." -Michael Gerber

“The more people who lie awake in bed thinking about your idea, the better. But
people only obsess about ideas when they feel a sense of ownership.” -Scott
Belsky

Shroom Season

2011-05-02T22:48:00.000-04:00

Yep...I found all of 'em. Right there on my kitchen counter. My mother & father-in-law are da' bomb.

The Twisted Truth

2011-04-29T20:35:00.000-04:00

Most Christian believers know this verse well. I remember seeing it on a billboard outside the small rural town where I attend church. The verse is certainly true (it is quoted from scripture) and a very powerful truth at that. However, in the opinion of this unschooled ordinary guy, this application is far from the truth.

There is no modern nation, no matter how much it may need to repent, to which God would address, "if my people, who are called by my name". This is not a verse for America. I hope you understand that. This is a verse for the people of God. That is where we go wrong first of all, straight out of the box with this verse. We seek to apply it wrongly. We seek to expend our energies Christianizing the pagans when the verse calls us to get to grips with ourselves. We think this verse is a mandate for asking those that have not known the grace of God to somehow live as if they did. This is a call to the people of God to live as the people of God. if my people...my people who have been redeemed by my blood, sustained by my Spirit, who are committed to my law. If these people will do certain things...like stop making the priority the confrontation of the enemy on the outside and instead deal with the enemy within, which is ourselves. When we take the fight to our own sinful lives then we will start to make progress.

What do we have to do? Well, #1 we have to humble ourselves. It is pride at the heart of all of our obstinacy and our disobedience. God's word speaks so powerfully to this in Nehemiah chapter 9 when God says in the 16th verse, you are arrogant, stiff-necked and disobedient. I don't like to see myself like this... but I need to. Only when I come before God will I be humbled. Only when I see myself as I really am before God and his glory does true humility happen. My great need is to know him and then to know myself. Not as we are told everyday as we live our lives that we should know ourselves then go look for God. We will never know ourselves until we know Him and when we know Him we will all know we have far too much to say for ourselves. This reminds me of a famous quote by an unknown author.

Lord, I renounce my desire for human praise, for the approval of my peers, the need for public recognition. I deliberately put these aside today, content to hear you whisper, "Well done, my faithful servant."

Here's the deal.
Those words are easy to read. Light to carry on a notecard.
This is tough to live. Because everything within me cries out for affirmation, cries out for recognition, cries out for approval, cries out for accolades, but God says he will not share his glory with anybody else. Humble yourselves.

#2 you need to pray. These go hand in hand. See you never pray when you're proud, because proud people never pray. They are self-sufficient. They see no need to pray. Remember, prayer isn't just talking to God. I love the following word's of Tozer.

“More spiritual progress can be made in one short moment of speechless silence in the awesome presence of God than in years of mere study. It is only when our vaunted wisdom has been met and defeated in a breathless encounter with Omnisience that we are really permitted to know, when prostrate and wordless the soul receives divine knowledge like a flash of light on a sensitised plate. The exposure may be brief, but the results are permanent.”

#3 Seek His face. This is not a mystery. Read and study and apply his Word. This is where you meet God and learn more of who he is. In all actuality it is primarily a heart condition. A passion...a desire...a hunger or thirst for more of God. These following words from my early post describe it well for me.

I want to know something of the genuine experience of Christ in my life. I want an awareness of the presence of the Holy Spirit. I want to know Christ, not just know of him or about his Word, but truly know him. I know my faith is not based on emotions, nor does it rest on feelings, but I want a passion for the mind of Christ. I want conviction of the truth of his Word, I want a deep sense of his abiding with me. I want to know you Lord, I want to see your face. I long for a spiritual revival within myself, within the church.

#4 Turn from our wicked ways. Repentance. To go against the grain. To go against what I want to do most of the time. We have God's power to enable us and God's word to direct us but he demands from us to turn from all we know to be wrong. We don't want to be like the people of God in the following psalm.

Psalm 106:43 Many times he delivered them, but they were bent on rebellion and they wasted away in their sin.

Some of us are nowhere near to being as useful in our Christian life as we could be, we do not know the blessing of God on our lives as we might, we do not know the joy of his abiding presence as we can. We must humble ourselves, pray, seek his face and turn from our wicked ways. When the people of God get this right, the pagans' desires will become God's desires.

The Faith Of "The Beard"

2011-04-25T21:01:00.000-04:00

Read this awesome story/interview with Brian Wilson. Then watch this short testimony below. I love what he has to say in both. I pray that he continues to walk the walk. Good stuff.

I Long For This!

2011-04-23T11:25:00.000-04:00

I want to know something of the genuine experience of Christ in my life. I want an awareness of the presence of the Holy Spirit. I want to know Christ, not just know of him or about his Word, but truly know him. I know my faith is not based on emotions, nor does it rest on feelings, but I want a passion for the mind of Christ. I want conviction of the truth of his Word, I want a deep sense of his abiding with me. I want to know you Lord, I want to see your face. I long for a spiritual revival within myself, within the church.

Revival is nothing more than breathing life into a body that is threatening to become a corpse. Many of our church services are corpse-like. I don't mean my church I mean church services in general. They are marked by routine, they are marked by prayers, readings, talks, videos and various songs but by and large they are deathly. By and large they make very little impact on the faithful and they certainly have little attraction for the faithless. How quickly can that become apparent? Very quickly from my perspective. How may it be erased? By a divine encounter as a result of the people of God taking a delight in the law of God. Believers being like the psalmist in Psalm 1...that their delight was in the law of the Lord and on his law they meditated day and night.

I long for an experience as the one stated in 2 Chronicles 7:1-3.

1 When Solomon finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices, and the glory of the LORD filled the temple. 2 The priests could not enter the temple of the LORD because the glory of the LORD filled it. 3 When all the Israelites saw the fire coming down and the glory of the LORD above the temple, they knelt on the pavement with their faces to the ground, and they worshiped and gave thanks to the LORD, saying, "He is good; his love endures forever."

I don't think I can fully comprehend what all that means, but the best I could describe it to be would be, an uncommon manifestation of God's divine glory. As a result of this, the priests were unable to enter into the temple of the Lord because the glory of the Lord filled it. They couldn't go about their business because the sense of God's presence was so awesome they could not continue. I long for this...know my heart....I long for this! For an encounter with God that breaks through the molds of all of our conventionality. For an encounter with God that can not be explained simply in terms of doing church ala Americana. For an encounter with God that breaks the hearts of his people, my heart first, all of our hearts together, so that we can not even have church the way we normally have church. That is what this passage is saying...they couldn't do the routine because God shattered it in an instant. When revival comes to a church or to a nation this will take place. We can't manufacture this on our own. We try to create the effect without the inrush of the Spirit of God.

I heard Allister Begg recently tell a story of a church he helped pastor in the early 70's in Scotland. He stated at the turn of the century this church (that was capable of seating 1,000 or more) was reduced to 7 or 8 people. They then called a man from a tiny church from the border of Scotland, who had never studied the Word of God in a formal way, but he was a man who knew God and walked with God. The man himself, at the turn of the century, went to Whales where the Welsh revival was taking place. Encountering something in all of that he came back with a glow upon him that could not be explained. It is recorded in the history of that place that there were significant periods of time where there was no preaching taken place. Why? Because it couldn't take place! It was due to the fact that as soon as the people of God gathered , the Spirit of God fell so heavily on them that against all conventionality, against all of the normal routine, somebody would stand up 7 or 8 minutes before the service was due to begin and would begin to pray out loud. Then another would begin to pray, and then another, and another, and then someone would sing, and then the whole congregation would begin to sing. Then the pastors and the worship leaders would just sit down. The whole thing was orchestrated by the Spirit of God. Eventually, as God would have it, when the Spirit of God moved off of the people of God, they would say that was good....that was it...now we will go home. This is what happened in 2 Chronicles 7.

I don't want to gather for business as usual. I want to gather for God to be God, and do what God wants to do, when he wants to do it, any day he wants, any time he wants, anything he wants. He is God-we are men and women. I wholeheartedly believe if you get a congregation that begins to gather in that way, you will begin to see things happen that you have never seen happen before in your life. And some things you may even be afraid to see happen. Unfortunately so many don't even desire this. They desire the routine, the programming, the control. This saddens me. It quenches the Spirit.

We have the altar but we can't make the fire, we have the Book but we cant make it live, we have the songs but we can't stir our hearts. In my humble opinion, if the church in America is to become a force to be reckoned with, it must cry out to God for this kind of inrush of the Spirit of God.

Why Can't We Walk Straight?

2011-04-17T15:46:00.001-04:00

I just stumbled across this video and it spoke to my inner man. This is the story of my life. Without focusing on God I go nowhere and accomplish nothing other than wasting time.

The first 36 years of my life I was walking, swimming, driving blindfolded by my own sin, my own sense of pride and self-sufficiency. Once I finally walked into a big enough tree, swallowed enough water, and ended up at the same starting point over and over again, I realized I needed a focal point...I needed a guide. By the grace of God He removed the blindfold, forgave my sin, and gave me a focal point to follow in his Son Jesus Christ. He gave me a guide in the Holy Spirit. My walk is know much straighter but still all too often I mess up. I look down and focus on my present circumstances, I gaze off in the distance wondering what the future holds, or I focus on my past and stumble over things that should have been long since forgotten. I guess the bottom line is when I begin to focus on me and my circumstances is when I go in circles because I am being self-centered. My world then revolves around me. When I keep my head up, eyes focused on Christ, and submitted to the lead and guidance of the Holy Spirit my walk becomes straight once again. I am so thankful for His mercy and grace.

A Mystery: Why Can't We Walk Straight? from NPR on Vimeo.

Aligning Gifts And Dreams

2011-04-10T21:21:00.000-04:00

One of the worst things we can do with our efforts and emotions is to place them toward something that just isn’t going to happen. Also, one of the worst things we can do is to refrain from placing our efforts and emotions toward something that seems impossible. The reality of life is that at some point, if we are trying to live a full life, we will spend our efforts and emotions in both of these ways and at the end of those attempts we will be spent, tired, frustrated, discouraged. To not do so, at some point and in some way, is to live in fear or to live with regret. For us not to try the impossible is to guarantee we will miss the incredible. (I know those aren't my original word's but I read them somewhere and they stuck)

Here’s the deal, we all have dreams that are bigger than our abilities and we all have abilities that are bigger than our dreams. What I am starting to see is that the sooner I get my dreams lined up with my abilities, the sooner I will have a life that is full of purpose and accomplishment and hope and amazement and usefulness and contentment.

In the life of a follower of Jesus, this idea is even more true. The bible teaches that each of us have been given a gift (an ability) to do something that is essential and necessary for the whole "Church". (Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12). If we do not use our gifts the Church will move forward because Jesus said that not even the gates of Hell could stop it, but I believe when a believer doesn’t use their gift for the Church, the Church moves forward with a limp. On the flip side I also strongly believe you can shortchange the "Church" and yourself by serving outside of your giftedness. Paul is inspired to write in Romans 12:6-8 to use our God given gifts according to the grace given to us. My own experience has shown me that its usually the gap between our gifts and our dreams that immobilize us. I have been trying to shorten this gap but it sometimes seems hopeless. I don't know if my dreams are too high or my gifts are not the ones I believe I have been given.

As I am having this battle in my own life – my dreams and abilities in conflict – I “just so happened” to be reading through 1 Corinthians… specifically chapters 12 to 14 when the following verses jumped out to me with very specific meaning:

I Corinthians 13:8
Love never fails…

I Corinthians 14:33
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace…

I Corinthians 12:22
The parts of the body that seem weaker are indispensable…

As these parts of these verses came together in my mind, in regards to this struggle between my dreams and my abilities, I began to see more clearly that the longer I keep these two things in conflict the longer I will stay frustrated and the slower the Church moves toward its purpose. Conversely, I began to see that the sooner I embrace God’s love for me (that never ends) in what He has given me the ability to do (something that is indispensable), I will live at peace and on purpose.

You see, my experience in life and in ministry has shown me that when I use my God given gifts I experience the most fun and I am the most effective. But, when I found myself trying to do things that I am not truly gifted at, the outcome would be at best, providing a service. The former producing energy and excitement and results, where as the latter just produced frustration and questions.

Last year for Christmas I asked for and received the movie “The Rookie” (staring Dennis Quaid – a true story about a baseball player named Jim Morris) Since the first time I watched the video a line from that movie has really bounced in and around my head. It was in an conversation between Jim’s dad and Jim as Jim contemplated trying to do something great but seemingly impossible… here’s the line… “Its ok to do what you want to do until its time to do what you were meant to do.”

Now, I know that line is not in the bible and is in no way absolute truth… but… I think it does carry the spirit of what I’m talking about here. We all want a life that is full and vibrant and meaningful. We all have dreams and how if we could just do “this or that” our life would be all those things. We all should pursue our dreams with great passion, great zeal, great vigor… but… as we grow and as our experiences begin to show us that our dreams are in conflict with our gifts, we need to take time to rest and seek the Lord and begin to do what He’s gifted us to do.

Whatever you and I are “meant to do” will produce more joy and more excitement and be more challenging than anything we simply “want to do”. Why? Well, because our biggest dream for ourselves is so much lower than what God wants us to experience.

Isaiah 55: 8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Dreaming big is trusting God with the gifts He has given us and really living life is doing exactly what He created us to do. It's in this place that “want to do” and “meant to do” become the same thing and nothing will ever be better than that… and its only at this crossroad that we will truly be able to try the impossible and guarantee we will not miss the incredible.

So Lord help me... please make my dreams align with your desires. It is then I will know I am living, walking, serving and sharing out of the giftedness you gave me through your grace.

The Devil Hates When This Happens

2011-03-02T23:28:00.000-05:00

First Time?

2011-03-02T22:26:00.002-05:00

I have been reading my first fiction book in a very long time. It actually may be the first one ever. I read my share of Cliff Notes on fiction books in high school but I'm not certain I ever read one from cover to cover. It has been refreshing and I have really enjoyed it. It is a story of a man's life that had dreams of becoming a pastor but ended up becoming a barber, grave digger, and church custodian. The writer, Wendell Berry, is an amazing story teller and shares a sense of humor that consistently surprises me. The theological undertones are flooded throughout the book. The following excerpt from the book seemed to ring so true in my heart, if not in my life. (I didn't allow the purgatory reference to be a stumbling block.)

"If you could do it, I suppose, it would be a good idea to live your life in a straight line--starting, say, in the Dark Wood of Error, and proceeding by logical steps through Hell and Purgatory and into Heaven. Or you could take the King's Highway past appropriately named dangers, toils, and snares, and finally cross the River of Death and enter the Celestial City. But that is not how I have done it, so far. I am a pilgrim, but my pilgrimage has been wandering and unmarked. Often what has looked like a straight line to me has been a circle or a doubling back. I have been in the Dark Wood of Error any number of times. I have known something of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, but not always in that order. The names of many snares and dangers have been made known to me, but I have seen them only in looking back. Often I have not known where I was going until I was already there. I have had my share of desires and goals, but my life has come to me or I have gone to it mainly by way of mistakes and surprises. Often I have received better than I deserved. Often my fairest hopes have rested on bad mistakes. I am an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley. And yet for a long time, looking back, I have been unable to shake off the feeling that I have been led--make of that what you will."

Wendell Berry in: Jayber Crow pg 133

It's A Gift Not A Wound

2011-03-02T22:16:00.002-05:00

Today was my day for solitude. I am beginning to discover, and believe to be true, that without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. If we truly believe that God not only exists but also is actively present and working in our lives, we need to set aside time and space to give God our undivided attention. Jesus says, "But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret...".

In thinking about solitude, and the need for it, a couple of other words have kept coming to my mind. Aloneness and loneliness. As I continued to think on and about the differences and similarities of the words, I came to the conclusion that we are all alone. We all experience aloneness. It is a natural fact that no one else is just like me and no one else is just like you. We are unique. No one else feels or experiences the world the way I do. I am alone.

Now, how do we deal with our aloneness? Many people deal with it through loneliness. That simply means they experience aloneness as a wound, or something that hurts them and makes them miserable. Sometimes they are crying out hoping that someone else can help them and often others seem to run away not knowing what to say or do. When we are lonely we can also become clingy and that creates fear of being smothered or suffocated in others. This could include friends, spouses, family or just about anyone who has frequent interaction with us. Loneliness is one of the greatest sources of suffering today. I believe it is one of the greatest diseases of our time. I have been there and I experienced it as a dark spiral towards depression and despair. It seems to suck you in and it is very difficult to escape.

But, as followers of Christ, we are called to convert that loneliness to solitude. We must experience our aloneness not as a wound but as a gift. A gift given to us by God, so in our aloneness we can discover how deeply we are loved by him.

I believe it is where and when we are most alone, most unique, and most ourselves that God is closest to us. This is where we experience God as our loving Father who knows us better than we know ourselves.

If we accept our aloneness in this way, then out of our solitude we can reach out to others. We can come together in community because we don't cling to one another out of loneliness. If I find God in my solitude, and you find God in your solitude, then the same God can call us together and we can be friends. We can form a community, sustain a marriage, develop a friendship. We can be together without smothering and clinging to each other.

Embrace your aloneness, flee from loneliness, and accept the gift of solitude.

Why Am I Wasting My Time?

2011-03-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

Life has seemed as if it is flying by lately. There are so many things that I want to do, and it seems as if I am doing none of them. I have grown weary of seemingly wasting my time on the meaningless or not managing my time well enough to do the things I really want to do. I want to take charge and be a good steward of the time God has given me, and designate times for certain things to be done. That being said, my wife and I sat down this weekend and wrote down some goals. We had six categories- personal, marriage, children, friendship, ministry, and financial.

One of my personal goals is to spend 1 hour in solitude and silence per week. I haven't been doing this at all, so I wanted to make sure it wasn't a crazy, unattainable, or unrealistic goal.

Today was the first day. I took my Bible, pen, and notepad and headed to my hide away. I wanted to just shut up and listen. I wanted to hear God speak through His Word, through His Spirit.

In my mind it seemed unfruitful, and impractical. Why should I spend an hour in silence and solitude when I seemingly do nothing but think of people that I am angry with, people who are angry with me, books I should read, how I want the basement room to look, and thousands of other senseless and silly things that grab my mind for a moment?

The answer is: because God is greater than my mind and my heart and what is really happening is not measurable by terms of human success and failure. What I must do first of all is be faithful. If I believe the greatest commandment is to love God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength, then I should be able to spend at least 1 hour a week with nobody else but God. (1 hour a day for that matter!) The question as to whether it is helpful, useful, practical, or fruitful is completely irrelevant, since the only reason to love is love itself. Everything else is secondary.

In my heart however, I believe that sitting in the presence of God for 1 hour day after day, week after week, month after month, in total confusion and with all kinds of distractions will radically change my life. The Father, who loves me so much that he sent his only Son not to condemn me but to save me, does not leave me waiting in the dark too long. I might think that each hour is useless, but after 30 or 60 or 90 such useless hours, I will gradually realize I was not as alone as I thought. All along there was a very small, gentle voice speaking to me far beyond my noisy place. So I will continue to be faithful, confident, and trust in the Lord.

Returning

2011-03-02T22:11:00.000-05:00

For some time now I have been meditating on the story of the prodigal son. It is a story on returning. I realize, and can certainly relate to, the importance of returning over and over again. My life drifts away from God. I have to return. My heart moves away from my first love. I have to return. My mind wanders to ungodly thoughts. I have to return. Returning is a lifelong struggle.

For the first time it struck me that the wayward son had purely selfish motives. He said to himself, "How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father." He didn't return because he had a renewed love for his father. No, he returned simply to survive. He had finally discovered that the way he had chosen was leading him to death. Returning to his father was necessary to staying alive. He realized that he had sinned, but he only came to that realization because his sin had brought him to the brink of death.

I love the fact that the father didn't require any higher or purer motivation. His love was so total and unconditional that he simply welcomed his son home.

This is such an encouraging thought. God doesn't require a pure heart before embracing us. Even if we return only because following our own desires failed to bring happiness, God will take us back. Even if we return because living for Him brings more peace than living like a viking, God will take us back. Even if we return because our sins did not offer as much satisfaction as we had hoped, God will take us back. Even if we return because we couldn't make it on our own, God will take us back. God's love does not require any explanation as to why we are returning. God is glad to see us home and wants to bless us, just for being home.

God has shown his grace to me as the son. I pray he shows his grace to me to be the father as well.

I Love The Underdog Because I Am One

2010-11-08T20:53:00.007-05:00

I love to see underdogs win. I love to see people succeed when the so called "experts" say, "He isn't good enough, he isn't big enough, he isn't smart enough, he doesn't have enough experience". They continue on with the, "He will never make it, he will never last, he just doesn't have what it will take". "He's a rookie, he has no experience, he can't compete in this league at a high level." Sometimes the tangibles just don't matter. Sometimes you don't have to be the best at it, sometimes experience isn't most important. Sometimes you just need to not lose the game as opposed to believing you have to win the game. When you know and play within your limitations and avoid the big mistakes you have a chance to succeed. When you can lead, and earn the respect from your team, and they believe in you, incredible obstacles become minor bumps in the road. Sometimes the"Rookie" with no experience comes out on top of those "Experienced" ones with the rings. I like that. I guess the so called experts didn't have enough experience or knowledge to predict the outcome. HA!

The World's Cutest Grandson Is Mine!

2010-10-31T20:33:00.001-04:00

Simon makes me see things from the proper perspective. He corrects his papa's values and priorities. The things that stressed me out throughout the day seem so insignificant when I hold him. The things I thought I needed to get accomplished right then no longer seem to be such a priority. He reminds me of the importance of family and time spent together. He reminds me of how helpless I really am on my own. He models what trust and faith truly are. I believe Simon will teach me more in my lifetime than I will ever teach him, which is just one more reason why I love him so much.

Wow! This Is Awesome!

2010-10-30T21:07:00.005-04:00

This is so sad but so true.

A Thousand Words Left Unsaid

2010-10-26T19:37:00.000-04:00

Change

2010-10-24T20:00:00.003-04:00

I have been thinking about change alot lately. Not the kind in your pocket, but the act of doing certain things to create a different outcome, result, or atmosphere.

I recently saw a Rubik's Cube sitting on a person's desk and it made me think back to years ago when it was all the rage. I remember how frustrated I got trying to figure it out. I remember that I could get one side to be all the same color but I could never get beyond that. I remember tearing it apart many times and putting it back together by colors just to end my discouragement. These thoughts have been stirring...so I am going to try to arrange some words to match my thoughts. (This has been very difficult as of late)

First of all I discovered or remembered that some things just can't be changed. The center square on each side of the cube always remained the same. I couldn't change that. The center square dictated the moves that would be required to solve the puzzle. It determined where I would put the pieces when I was reassembling it. So many times I am wasting time trying to change the things that can't be changed. Things like the past, God's will, or other peoples hearts. I need to recognize and focus on the things that can be changed and then change those things to come in alignment with the unchangeable. Make sense? Probably not. But hey...I can't change that.

Secondly, it was revealed that I can't just change one square. If I want to make a move, twelve squares have to be moved at one time. Every change I make has multiple results whether I plan it or want it or not. When we make changes in our homes, our work, our ministry, our lives I would argue that the same results will happen. When we choose to do things differently, that choice will impact other areas of our lives and other people in our lives that are connected directly or indirectly. Whether we recognize it or not, change effects more than the initial thing we change. Make sense? Probably not. But hey...

Finally, getting one side of the cube all the same color isn't all that difficult, but progress beyond that point will require losing part of that accomplishment. Part of the reason I failed to ever solve the cube was the fact that I couldn't destroy the beauty of what I had first achieved. I chose to cling to the lovely but unfinished work and as a result sacrificed what I could have obtained. Like I have heard so many times, we sacrifice the great by settling for the good. Sometimes we have to destroy what was good to achieve something better. Make sense? ...

So what are you trying to change that is unchangeable? What should you change and what, who, and how is it going to impact? Are you willing to sacrifice what's good for the opportunity to attain what's better? Are you ready for a change?

The Boss Singing Of The Saviour

2010-10-14T18:43:00.003-04:00

Jesus was an only son

As he walked up Calvary Hill
His mother Mary walking beside him
In the path where his blood spilled
Jesus was an only son
In the hills of Nazareth
As he lay reading the Psalms of David
At his mother's feet

A mother prays, "Sleep tight, my child, sleep well
For I'll be at your side
That no shadow, no darkness, no tolling bell,
Shall pierce your dreams this night"

In the garden at Gethsemane
He prayed for the life he'd never live

He beseeched his Heavenly Father to remove
The cup of death from his lips

Now there's a loss that can never be replaced,
A destination that can never be reached
A light you'll never find in another's face,
A sea whose distance cannot be breached

Well Jesus kissed his mother's hands
Whispered, "Mother, still your tears,
For remember the soul of the universe
Willed a world and it appeared

Some Good Stuff

2010-10-12T19:27:00.002-04:00

Our vacation was such a blessing. Actually, my wife said it was more of a spiritual retreat than a vacation and I agree.

It was special. Special because it was just my wife and me. My best friend. The only person who really knows me. The only person that could have shared the joy of the simple things that we saw and did. Special because by the grace of God we celebrated 25 years of marriage. A rare accomplishment these days. Especially when you start out how we did. 28 of my 43 years have been shared with her. Something I'm proud of even though I had little to do with it lasting.

It was a time of God revealing himself to us in powerful yet subtle ways. In ways that no one would understand and in ways I could never fully explain.

It was a time of extended prayer together. It was amazing realizing (after the fact) that while praying, He was actually using our act of prayer to answer our prayer. I am sure you don't understand but it's the truth. It was a time of reflection and meditation on the goodness of our God.

It was a time of healing for me in so many ways. It was so encouraging, refreshing, inspiring and freeing to experience a church body praying with passion. Not just a few people, not just the pastor or elders, but the entire congregation passionately, simultaneously crying out to God for healing in peoples lives. The Holy Spirit's power was released through their intercession . Pure worship, powerful prayer and no programming! 150 minutes felt like 30. The spirit of love and joy abounded. Testimonies were shared and Jesus was exalted. Babies were dedicated and prayed over with the power and authority given by Jesus! Simply amazing. I have never experienced anything like it.

It was a time to enjoy walking hand in hand on a mile long stretch of a secluded, sandy beach and just talking, listening, and praying. It was a time to enjoy a good cup of coffee and a sunset on the bay. (see photo above)

It was and is such a pleasure and a blessing just knowing that we are the only two people in the world that would have thought that this was a great vacation. Most would call it lame or boring. Some just say we're old but we say we were blessed.

God is so good.

Time to go bowlin'?!

2010-10-09T22:23:00.002-04:00

I doubt if I would, even if I could.

Where Am I, How Did I Get Here, and What Am I Doing??

2010-09-23T21:12:00.006-04:00

No sermons to prepare, no retreats to plan, no events to organize, no Emmaus team....I have been resting. It is a dangerous place to be. When I rest I begin to drift. It's time to refocus and put my oars back in the water. I don't know which direction to go but I am sure it's not downstream. I pray I find a renewed purpose to motivate me to keep paddling. The cross should be enough for me. Why isn't it? Why do I feel like I need to be doing something? All He asks is for me to be with Him. Abiding in Him. I stumbled across this quote from D. A. Carson tonight and it sure hit home.

"People do not drift toward Holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated." -D. A. Carson

How Far?

2010-09-06T19:28:00.003-04:00

How far is it from where I am to where God wants me?

The distance is not measured in miles. It is not restrained or confined to a certain amount of time. I can be where he wants me right now, right where I am.

The only thing that is separating me from where I am and where He wants me, is me. It's not space or time...it's the death of me.

John 3:30 He must become greater; I must become less.

Guaranteed Winner Again This Year Because...

2010-09-06T19:09:00.003-04:00

Sorry Hagg, Clay, Murph, Mike, Matt, Justin, and Jerry! You have NO CHANCE! HA!

Perfecting Love

2010-08-21T22:50:00.001-04:00

Since recently becoming a grandpa I have realized how different it is from being a father. What was once unacceptable for my son will now be acceptable for my grandson. The rules were set in stone for my son. The rules are flexible with my grandson. My love is immeasurable for them both, but the relationship is different so therefore my love is expressed differently.

I believe many of us don't want a heavenly father.

We want a heavenly grandfather.

We want God to just love us in that soft, gentle way. We want God to give us whatever we want, whenever we ask for it. When we mess up we want him to chuckle and say, "That's ok, kids will be kids". We want God to always be happy with us even when we do what we have been told not to do. We want God to let us drive the truck before we have our license. We want God to let us win the race even though we haven't trained to do so. We want God to say, "Go ahead and play in the mud, I won't let you get in trouble". We want God to put money in our pockets without having to work for it. We want God to give us all the things we like even if they aren't good for us. We want God to give us the candy before we eat our vegetables. We want God to give us the credit, the glory and the praise for the fish that He caught. We want God to find no fault and give nothing but affirmation.

We don't want to be told no, we don't want to be disciplined, we don't want to suffer. We don't want firm boundaries even though they are there to protect us. We don't want to be told to do the tough things. We don't want to train to win. We don't want to be told, "You messed up so now there is a price to pay". We don't want tough love. We don't want to be told, "You will have to wait". We don't want to be forced to take responsibilities. We don't want to have to work for what we get. We don't want to be stretched beyond our comfort zone. We don't want our weaknesses exposed. We don't want to be held accountable or convicted of our sins.

Grandpa's love spoils. The Father's love perfects.

Called To Belong

2010-08-17T19:58:00.010-04:00

I am excited to be a part of this again. I can't show you what it will be, but I can certainly show you what it won't be.

No Doubt - No Faith?

2010-08-03T21:23:00.005-04:00

Can I have faith and not have doubt? I mean, without doubt it would be certainty, wouldn't it? And if it is certain then there would be no need for faith, right? I have experienced way to much to deny my belief but I have seen too little to prove it. Seriously, how can a relationship with an invisible God and a visible human not have an element of doubt? How could God reveal himself to me in a way that would leave no room for doubt? I believe if there was no room for doubt there would be no room for me.

Amazing

2010-07-31T12:10:00.000-04:00

What do you see?

Pit Stop Adjustments

2010-07-25T19:25:00.000-04:00

I'm not a big NASCAR fan. I usually put it on my TV screen when it's nap time on Sunday afternoon. Today was no exception. A nap seemed in order so I flopped on the couch with the remote in my hand. I immediately go to 140 on my remote, (ESPN), and presto, the Brickyard 400. Perfect stuff to help me nod off into sweet dreams of a Deshner's pizza followed by some Starbuck's ice cream.

Anyway, I start watching the race and shortly thereafter the cars start coming into the pits. Here these drivers are, one minute driving close to 200 miles an hour, and seconds later at a complete stop. They are refueling, getting new tires, and making adjustments to the car for a better performance, for smoother handling, in order to have a better chance of winning the race. I could be wrong, but I never saw a driver pull into the pits and make no adjustments, take no fuel or refuse to get some fresh rubber. If they did, I believe you would agree, it would be foolish and pointless for them to pit. Just by pulling into the pit is not going to help them win the race. The crew chief can tell them they need fuel, tires, a wedge, and some more air pressure on the left side but if it isn't done their performance isn't going to change. In all actuality they are going to start falling back in the race and there is a good chance they will never finish the race.

It made me think of our spiritual lives. How many times do you pull into the pit area and refuse to make adjustments? Are you even listening to the crew chief? Do you think by just pulling into the pits that you are going to be better equipped to win the race? Did you fire your crew chief because he told you there were adjustments that needed to be made? Would you rather just be told your car is awesome when in reality it probably won't make another lap? Have you been told repeatedly adjustments need to be made but refuse to implement the change? Do you keep crashing into the wall and blaming others? Do you wonder why the wheel fell off? Sitting in the pits for 90 minutes a week is useless if adjustments aren't made.

Meetings

2010-07-20T20:18:00.004-04:00

I think people have meetings to plan other meetings. They then have meetings to discuss the meeting that the other meeting planned. In addition most meetings involve food and drink. Another reason to have a meeting.... a meeting to discuss what snacks will be served at the meeting. I believe the bottom line is most people would rather have a meeting than actually doing something productive. Not that a meeting can't be productive or needed but c'mon, give me a break. Quit meeting and discussing and go do something! Then you will have another reason for a meeting.

Discouragement

2010-07-18T20:00:00.001-04:00

I don't think I am one that is easily discouraged but today happens to be one of those days. I hate it. When discouragement sneaks in it seems to grow and spread to many other areas in my life. I begin to doubt and question so many things. Things that I was so confident in yesterday, or even this morning, I am now feeling insecure about. Things that I believed in I am now suddenly doubting. If I let this continue I would just quit and cash in my chips. God is helping me through it. He had me stumble across this...

The devil, according to legend, once advertised his tools for sale at public auction. When the prospective buyers assembled, there was one oddly shaped tool which was labeled "Not for sale." Asked to explain why this was, the devil answered, "I can spare my other tools, but I cannot spare this one. It is the most useful implement that I have. It is called Discouragement, and with it I can work my way into hearts otherwise inaccessible. When I get this tool into a man's heart, the way is open to plant anything I want in there."

So corny but so true. He then had a couple brothers send me some much needed words via text message. I am grateful for God and His timing and His words sent through a book or through a cell phone.

I am coming to realize that discouragement is often nothing more than a loss of perspective. If the proper perspective is restored you can take a new heart. I believe my discouragement was rooted in insecurity, unbelief, impatience, and immaturity. Yep, that is hard to say but I believe it to be true. Thank you Lord for the gift of a new perspective.

Is He Enough?

2010-07-11T22:27:00.006-04:00

I believe I heard this clearly. I also believe it wasn't just for me.

If I have called you, equipped you, and empowered you, quit waiting for someone else to believe in you. I need to be enough. I am enough.

-God

Would you? Do you?

2010-07-07T22:23:00.001-04:00

Would you pray with me for a great awakening that results in hundreds coming to Christ, marriages being reconciled and renewed, wayward children coming home, long-standing slavery to sin being conquered, spiritual dullness being replaced by vibrant joy, weak faith being replaced by bold witness, disinterest in prayer being replaced by fervent intercession, boring Bible reading being replaced by passion for God’s word, and lukewarm worship being replaced by zeal for the greatness of God’s glory? Do you even believe it could happen? I am living proof that it can and does happen. But only through the power of prayer.

Got Passion?

2010-07-03T16:45:00.000-04:00

I am spending this beautiful, sunshiny day with my nose in the Bible. I really desire nothing else. There are many activities going on everywhere but I have little interest in any of them. Life gets busy but this weekend my wife and I intentionally chose to relax. We will go to church tomorrow and then visit our grandson and his parents, but that is it for this 3 day weekend. How refreshing and much needed.

I am reading and studying the book of Nehemiah. I love the book and I can so identify with the man. Apart from Jesus he may have inspired and taught me more than any other man in the Bible. I relate to him so easily. I believe he might be misunderstood in many ways (pretty sure I am too) and I believe some of his strengths and weaknesses are similar to some of mine. (I say that in true humility)

Nehemiah had a rough edge. He was obviously a very passionate, upfront kind of guy who liked to do it more so than to be it. He was most happy when he was focusing all his energy into a project. When people are very focused and very passionate and leading a charge they are often found scary or intimidating. Especially when their zeal or passion leads them to speak or act in a way that is excessively bold. I believe a man of any other way would not have been able to accomplish the task that God had set in Nehemiah's heart. What many see as a flaw I see as a strength. I like bold leaders. No soft mamsy-pamsy stuff! Passion is what drove Jesus to the cross for me. Therefore, I am driven by my passion for what he did for me. In chapter 13 verses 21 and 25, Nehemiah's passion turns to anger, but I believe it to be righteous anger. When Nehemiah says he will lay hands on you he wasn't talking about praying! He is full of passion for one thing. He only sees one thing, he is swallowed up in one thing, he cares for one thing, he lives for one thing and that one thing is to please God. It doesn't matter if he lives or dies- if he has health or sickness- if he is rich or he is poor- if he pleases men or offends them- if he is thought wise or foolish- if he gets honor or shame- for all that he doesn't care. He burns for one thing and that is to please God and to further his glory. I now prepare to set myself on fire so others can watch me burn with that same fire that consumed Nehemiah.

I will gladly follow men like Nehemiah or Gregory Peck. This is my kind of leadership. God's church could use a few good men like this I believe.

My Ebenezer

2010-06-23T23:00:00.001-04:00

I have a fascination with stones. They symbolize strength, power, resiliency, and rugged toughness. That alone is cool. I also like their different colors, shapes and sizes. When I see a stone I see a story, a metaphor, an analogy. Stones are so symbolic.

God's word is full of stories, analogies, and uses for stones. The ten commandments were written on stone. Jesus is "The Rock" we are to build on. Jesus is "The Cornerstone", the stone the builders rejected. We are "living stones". Peter was the rock Christ was to build his church on. God commanded Joshua to have 12 men gather 12 stones and he was to stack them as a memorial of crossing the Jordon. Jacob and Laban took stones and piled them in a heap to act as a witness to their covenant. David killed Goliath with 1 smooth stone. God removes our hearts of stone. Many of the altars were to be built of stone. These are just some examples that stick out in my memory. I know there are many, many more.

However, my favorite reference is in I Samuel 7 where God rescues the Israelites from the Philistines and Samuel sets up a stone and names it Ebenezer. Samuel then says in verse 12, "Thus far the Lord helped us". I also love verse 13..."So the Philistines were subdued and did not invade Israelite territory again." VICTORY! END OF STORY! THE ENEMY IS DEFEATED FOREVER! DID NOT INVADE AGAIN!!

God has rescued and helped me countless times in countless ways. When I look back I am amazed at my journey and I know I could not have made it this far without the help of his gracious hand. I don't ever want to forget. So I stacked some stones as a memorial. It is a reminder, whenever I walk in or out my door, of my God's faithfulness, protection, provision, strength, and VICTORY. Each stone is symbolic in size, color, direction, and placement. Each stone is a turning point in my life. He has been with me through some very difficult times. There were times I didn't know how or if I could keep going, but he gave me strength. My Ebenezer reminds me of our past victories and gives me hope for today's doubts, trials, and battles.

Mighty Men Of God

2010-06-20T19:30:00.000-04:00

Another weekend at KD Ranch. I love that place. More memories were created. Lots of laughter, a few tears, and a couple extra pounds added. We had great discussions. We talked about our past, our present and the possibilities and dreams of our futures. We sympathized with some who shared their pains, celebrated with others who shared some victories. We searched for God's voice in His word, in His creation, in prayer, in worship, in Holy Communion, and in the fellowship with one another. Eleven men went and I believe God spoke in eleven different ways. I believe we all walked away with something. For many of us it wasn't necessarily what we came looking for, but maybe we weren't looking for the right thing. I know I learned a thing or two over the weekend. When men gather together to seek God they find him. Not usually in the way they plan on finding him, but in the way God chooses to reveal himself to them. (Read Ethan's story here. It's awesome!)

Every man in this picture is a gift given to me by God. Every man has spoken words of encouragement to me at some point...usually when I needed it the most. They have spoken words of wisdom that I have needed to hear. They have shown me the love of Christ by their generosity, their unconditional love, their grace, mercy and forgiveness. Their testimonies have strengthened my own faith walk. Their passion and love for the Lord has strengthened me in my times of weakness and doubt. I need them, I value them, I admire them, I respect them, I love them, but above all else I thank God for them.

Hmm...Interesting

2010-05-29T17:46:00.005-04:00

Mark what I say. If you want to do good in these times, you must throw aside indecision, and take up a distinct, sharply-cut, doctrinal religion. If you believe little, those to who you try to do good will believe nothing.

The victories of Christianity, wherever they have been won, have been won by distinct doctrinal theology; by telling men roundly of Christ’s vicarious death and sacrifice; by showing them Christ’s substitution on the cross, and His precious blood; by teaching them justification by faith, and bidding them believe on a crucified Saviour; by preaching ruin by sin, redemption by Christ, regeneration by the Spirit; by lifting up the brazen serpent; by telling men to look and live—to believe, repent, and be converted.

This—this is the only teaching which for eighteen centuries God has honoured with success, and is honouring at the present day both at home and abroad. Let the clever advocates of a broad and undogmatic theology—the preachers of the gospel of earnestness, and sincerity and cold morality—let them, I say, show us at this day any English village, or parish, or city, or town, or district, which has been evangelized without “dogma,” by their principles. They cannot do it, and they never will.

Christianity without distinct doctrine is a powerless thing. It may be beautiful to some minds, but it is childless and barren. There is no getting over the facts. The good that is done in the earth may be comparatively small. Evil may abound, and ignorant impatience may murmur and cry out that Christianity has failed. But, depend on it, if we want to “do good” and shake the world, we must fight with the old apostolic weapons, and stick to “dogma.” No dogma, no fruits! No positive evangelical doctrine, no evangelization!

J.C. Ryle 1816-1900

(Taken from "Holiness", 355-356)

Not knowing the end...which boat would you board?

2010-05-27T20:11:00.009-04:00

Naval Architech-Thomas Andrews

After the conclusion of the construction of the Titanic a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. He replied, "Not even God can sink it"

The professionals, the experts, the educated built the Titantic. It was designed to cater to the "most elite" of passengers. At the time of its construction the methods used were considered second to none. The "experts" claimed that the ship was designed to be "unsinkable" and the masses believed them. There was great excitement and hoopla about its construction and it was known and regarded around the world as being the greatest ship ever built. Many theories and explanations have been given , but the bottom line is - it didn't live up to the great expectations.

Genesis 6:8-9 But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord. This is the account of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.

Genesis 6:22 Noah did everything just as God commanded him.

Genesis 7:5 And Noah did all that God commanded him.

The humble, the obedient, the faithful built the ark. It was designed for the faithful builder, his family, and certain numbers of the animal kingdom. At the time of its construction the methods used were considered foolish. The so called experts in their day scoffed at the builder's work. He was a laughingstock, yet he maintained his faith and toiled on, year after year, at a task which to others indicated he had gone crazy. Considering his surroundings, the magnitude of the work he was called to perform, and the many years of hard work, he stands unsurpassed if not unequaled in persistent faith. The "experts" of their time drowned, and the humble, obedient, faithful builder survived in the ark he was called to build. Many theories and explanations have been given, but the bottom line is - it lived up to and even surpassed the expectations.

Then Noah got drunk and passed out naked in his tent. My translation of Genesis 9:21. I never heard them teach me that in Sunday School.

You Decide

2010-05-26T21:57:00.001-04:00

It's messy and frustrating but there is potential. However, sometimes it's just better to get rid of the mess and start over.

Coo, Poo, Love, Rock, and Worship.

2010-05-23T18:40:00.019-04:00

What an awesome Saturday!

First my wife and I head to North Canton to spend time with our daughter, son-in-law and especially our grandson Simon. I treasure that precious time. When I first took him in my arms yesterday, and he looked into my eyes and smiled, I couldn't help but tear up. That little guy is so special to me. It really can't be explained. I love eye contact with him. I feel he is looking straight into the depths of my heart. He jabbered stories. He laughed, smiled, and cooed at me but he also frowned, cried, and pooed on me! It's all good! I loved our time together.

After that it was off to dinner with my bride. Once again, treasured time. It was even more enjoyable and awesome because we had a gift card. Sweet! Free dinner out with my wife. It doesn't get much better than that! We finished dinner, grabbed a bold Starbucks and headed north on 77 to continue our free date night. We were headed to worship with Jesus Culture at the Mason Arts Center in downtown Cleveland. We arrived only to have free parking and free admission. How's that for a date night? It was simply awesome. Jesus Culture's passion is to fuel revival through youth and young adults, so I figured we might be the old fogies, but that wasn't the case. It was an incredibly diverse crowd. That was awesome in itself. I'm used to (and kinda tired of) the all white, middle aged, restrained crowd. There were 70 year olds worshiping in front of me and 5 year olds behind me. Everyone worshiping in total unrestrained freedom. Black, white, Hispanic, oriental, collared shirts to tank tops it was all represented and united in worship. It was a beautiful picture.

It was the first time we ever heard Jake Hamilton and he can rock. I like how he changes tempos and delivers his message with power. His style isn't necessarily our "worship" style but we both thoroughly enjoyed him and his music. His heart is felt through his music and through the lyrics. This video gives you a glimpse of his heart and passion.

I tried to capture the Spirit in a picture but I failed as always. Please trust me when I say it was a powerful time of worship.

It was an awesome day shared with my wife. Today I can't stop singing Jake's songs and thinking about looking into the eyes of Simon, my precious grandson.

This following song is one of my favorites.

IS IT SATAN?

2010-05-17T21:08:00.004-04:00

When bad things happen I frequently hear, and even say myself, that it is an attack of Satan. Is it really Satan attacking? Or are we reaping what we have sown? Or are we being disciplined by our heavenly Father?

Many times it is Satan. He is on the prowl to destroy us.

Many times it is our own stupid decisions or choices that lead to painful circumstances. You sow selfishness you will reap loneliness.. You play with fire long enough you will get burnt.

Many times we are living in disobedience to our Father's will (sin) and there are consequences to be paid. You want to rob God of your tithes? Ok, your car and water heater might be left outside his protection.

These are just a couple of lame examples but hopefully you get my point. Frequently I hear that Satan is attacking, but what it often appears to be is reaping what was sown, or discipline for disobedience.

I believe we like to blame Satan so we don't have to shoulder the responsibility. If we would sow good seeds and walk in obedience, we wouldn't be giving "the enemy" more credit than he deserves.

It's Time For a Change

2010-05-09T19:26:00.000-04:00

I'm not a guy that's big on change. In many circumstances I like routine and stability. However, when something is not right or something is not working well, I desire change. I actually crave it. Not subtle, gradual change either. If it's not right or it's not working let's change it and change it now! Now is the time.

It’s a lot easier to embrace change when you’re the one initiating it.

Change without vision is chaos.

Many times the most successful or positive changes also produce the most criticism.

Change doesn’t happen unless someone is responsible to deliver it.

It’s easier to embrace change when we see it rather than when we hear about it.

Change, even the best kind of change, will always generate some measure of fear and anger and sadness. In other words, someone will always despise the change and let you know about it.

It’s almost impossible to change a change that previously worked.

Organizations that don’t change die.

Slow change is rarely positive change.

If the change is easy, you’re probably not changing enough.

It's time. Actually it's way past time.

Losing Focus

2010-05-02T19:59:00.003-04:00

God is so good. I am so wretched.

There are so many times that I reflect back on my life and I stand amazed at how God has changed me. I have become the man I once despised and I now despise the man I once was. Obviously I haven't "arrived" or become the man God has called me to be yet. But I have experienced amazing progress in terms of attitude, perspective, patience, and just an overall softer heart over the last seven years. There is more joy, peace and contentment in my life now than ever. I have had some slumps and setbacks throughout my spiritual journey, but I have felt that my spiritual growth has been consistent although sometimes slow. My opinion changed quickly yesterday.

I came face to face with someone "special" in my life. A person who has caused me deep pain through lies, theft, deception, mockery, and the greatest form of disrespect I have ever experienced. When eye contact was made the "old man" in me was taking over my mind, heart, and soul. I had the deepest, darkest, horrible thoughts swirling in my mind. My heart was full of hatred, anger, rage, bitterness, resentment, revenge. As I stared into this persons eyes I knew Jesus was staring into my heart. But I chose to reject Him and focus on my enemy. Actually I was really focusing on myself. I was totally self-centered, selfish and allowing the "real" enemy a foothold. I was replaying the videos of the past and of all the pain and destruction they had caused. I allowed it to consume my mind, to penetrate my heart and quench The Spirit. I thought of how I was wronged and how I was the victim. I failed the test.

It was only 3 weeks prior when I stood in front of the congregation at our church and proclaimed the words of Jesus in Luke 9:23 - If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. I failed horribly at the very words I proclaimed. I didn't deny myself. I exalted myself. I didn't pick up my cross, I was nailing this person to it. Not the kind of thoughts or reactions expected from someone spiritually mature. I firmly believe this was all orchestrated by God. This was not an accident. It was a measuring stick to see where I am on my journey. Difficult and stressful situations always reveal who I really am. There is still some nasty stuff buried in my heart, soul, and spirit. God needed to reveal these to me. I have much dying to do. I must decrease He must increase. It's easy to talk about but a little more difficult to live out. The power is mine, it's just surrendering my will for His.

It all boiled down to losing my focus. God was pushed aside in this instance and I placed myself on the throne. It was all about me. If I had remained focused on Christ and what he had done for me a spirit of humility and forgiveness would have been the focus. I'm certain that all the pain inflicted on me by this person is merely a fraction of the pain that I personally inflicted on Christ. Yet He has forgiven me. Forgiveness is so easily received but so hard to give. I am confident I will pass this test the next time. Maybe not an A+ but I will pass. (Matthew 6:14-15...ouch)

In looking back God did reveal his Spirit within me by the fact he gave me the self-control to not act out on my fleshly feelings and emotions. Celebrate the victories and learn from the defeats. Praise God.

Wise Words From A Friend

2010-04-25T20:15:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine named Wayne once said to me, "When God is calling you to the deep waters there will always be someone else on the shore calling you to the shallows". I have found this to be true.

Preaching

2010-04-24T08:28:00.004-04:00

I have avoided posting on this topic intentionally but now feel that I need to address a common statement or thought that has been spoken to me repeatedly.

Several people have come to me and said, "If you were a full time pastor you couldn't preach like that every week."

My first reaction or response has always been, "Why? And if not like that then how would I?"

Every response has been pretty much the same... When you are a pastor/preacher/minister, there are so many other things that you need to do that you wouldn't have the time and or energy to do it like that. THAT IS SCARY. This post is long but well worth your time to read as it sheds light concerning that perspective.

They might be correct. I have a whopping 2 sermons under my belt and have never held the title or position of pastor. Therefore my thoughts carry little weight with most people and that has caused my reluctance to post on this subject. BUT, I do have my own thoughts and perspective on this subject and I feel the need to share so take my words and thoughts as you may.

I agree that there are many responsibilities that fall on the shoulders of the lead pastor. Many of which that I am unaware. However, I can think of no greater responsibility than spending extended time in God's word and prayer. I can't imagine pastoring or preaching in my own power. The power is in God and in his written Word.

It is my understanding that the first responsibility of the pastor is to care for the flock. To feed His sheep. If the pastor is not spending significant time in God's Word and in intimate fellowship with God he will rely on his own power, words, and ideas (junk food) and God's flock becomes malnourished, sickly, and weak. A flock that is malnourished, sickly, and weak is vulnerable to enemy attacks and is also unable to reproduce. If the flock isn't reproducing it will ultimately die and become extinct. Therefore neglecting time in the "Word" and in prayer is neglecting the "call" to pastoral ministry.

The first heart God's Word must reach is the heart of the preacher. There will be no benefit to the flock if the preacher is not first impacted by the scripture he is preparing to preach. This can only happen if the preacher is in the "Word" and in prayer!

The following quote by John Owen says it so well:

"A man only preaches a sermon well to others if he has first preached it to himself. If he does not thrive on the 'food' he prepares, he will not be skilled at making it appetizing for others. If the word does not dwell with power in us, it will not pass with power from us."

The demands are high and the responsibilities many on our pastors. However, none are more important than remaining focused on the source of the "call" and the purpose of the "call" and feeding on the power of the "Caller". From my perspective there is just no other way.

"Two Heaping Handfuls Of Jack Squat"

2010-04-15T20:01:00.008-04:00

"One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at The Last Day that prayerlessness was not from a lack of time." John Piper

WOW!!! That is a kick in the pants right there and I don't use either of them. The ironic thing is he used Twitter to say it. Facebook and Twitter might not eat up your time but we all have something that devours precious minutes or hours of our time. I am setting in front of one thing right now that can steal hours from me if I let it. Where we spend or invest our time reveals what we value. Man, 12 hour days at work make it appear I value a dollar more than anything else. Or do I just value getting the boxes to the customer? Umm...pretty sure if the paycheck stopped I would stop. Actually, I have a high value of food and providing a temperature controlled home with lights and hot water for my family, therefore I work. Sleep would be the next most valuable thing. Sorry, but I really don't feel bad about putting a high value on that. How about Jesus? What did he do with his time? He still had the same amount of time in a day as we do. What did he value? He valued his Father's will and the calling that he gave him. I guess I need to quit saying I'm so busy. I need to focus on what God is calling me to do and not feel bad about not doing other good things he hasn't called me to do. This video from Driscoll pretty much sums it up like so much of his stuff does. I want to be fruitful not just "busy accomplishing 2 heaping handfuls of jack squat". I notice he quotes Romans 1:6..."Called To Belong" and also speaks of a mens retreat. Guess what I'm spending time preparing for. Yep "Called To Belong" the 2010 edition coming in August, and another mens retreat down at the ranch in June. :) Man am I busy!

No Words Needed Other Than Love

2010-04-09T22:27:00.004-04:00

Conviction

2010-04-08T21:21:00.005-04:00

This post continues to convict me. It resonates in my soul today just as it has everyday since I read it. I knew it was quite some time ago but didn't realize it was 4 months ago. I pray that I am improving in this area. Obviously I am not where God wants me to be with it yet because the conviction remains. Do those around me know more about what I am for than what I'm against? OUCH! Yeah it is "Selph Inficted" and it does "sting a little". Alot actually. Change me Lord.

Courage

2010-03-28T21:32:00.012-04:00

Give me courage Lord. Courage to take risks. Not the usual ones. Not the respected, necessary, and relatively safe ones but those that I could avoid. I need courage not just because I could fall flat on my face, but the fact of others seeing me if it should happen and saying, "He didn't know what he was doing" or "He's a fool". When it comes right down to it Lord I would choose to be your failure before anyone else's success. So give me courage Lord and keep me from avoiding those "go for broke" choices.

Joshua 1:5-9

1 Corinthians 1:20-31

Morning Worship Led By Bob Dylan

2010-03-28T07:51:00.006-04:00

This is awesome!

Bob Dylan singing about his Hero. Awesome lyrics from the legend. Contrary to what I was being taught back in 1980, I don't think I'll be burning in hell for listening to the legend rocker either.

When they came for Him in the garden, did they know ?
When they came for Him in the garden, did they know ?
Did they know He was the Son of God, did they know that He was Lord ?
Did they hear when He told Peter, "Peter, put up your sword" ?
When they came for Him in the garden, did they know ?
When they came for Him in the garden, did they know ?

When He spoke to them in the city, did they hear ?
When He spoke to them in the city, did they hear ?
Nicodemus came at night so he wouldn't be seen by men
Saying, ?Master, tell me why a man must be born again?
When He spoke to them in the city, did they hear ?
When He spoke to them in the city, did they hear ?

When He healed the blind and crippled, did they see ?
When He healed the blind and crippled, did they see ?
When He said, "Pick up your bed and walk, why must you criticize ?
Same thing My Father do, I can do likewise"
When He healed the blind and crippled, did they see ?
When He healed the blind and crippled, did they see ?

Did they speak out against Him, did they dare ?
Did they speak out against Him, did they dare ?
The multitude wanted to make Him king, put a crown upon His head
Why did He slip away to a quiet place instead ?
Did they speak out against Him, did they dare ?
Did they speak out against Him, did they dare ?

When He rose from the dead, did they believe ?
When He rose from the dead, did they believe ?
He said, "All power is given to Me in heaven and on earth"
Did they know right then and there what that power was worth ?
When He rose from the dead, did they believe ?
When He rose from the dead, did they believe ?

My Heroes

2010-03-24T20:56:00.008-04:00

Janie, Amy , Matt, and Zac are my heroes. Amazing strength, incredible faith. They all have given me great encouragement and inspiration.

None loves any greater than Janie. Enough said.

None is any tougher or any stronger or fights any harder than Amy. (however we run a tight race with being bullheaded) :)

Few preach it and live it out like Matt.

Few exhibit the spirit of peace like Zac.

It doesn't take much faith to praise God for our blessings in good times. Praising God for cancer in the darkest times of your life...now that's faith with integrity.

When the illusion of control disappears we become men and women of prayer. - Matt Chandler

December 20, 2009

March 16, 2010

February 28, 2010

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Called and Chosen

2010-03-17T20:11:00.000-04:00

Do you have a dream? How about a calling from God? I would like to believe we all do.

But just because we have a dream or a calling from God does not mean we will automatically reach our destiny. There is preparation we must embrace. There are life and character changes we must take seriously. We will have spiritual battles, personal limitations, and excuses inspired by our own flesh that will have to be overcome.

I believe there is a difference between being actually called by God and chosen. So did Jesus in Matthew 22:14. God is looking for something in our response to him.

Yes, the Lord is patient and forgiving with us, but come on! No one will arrive at their destiny by just drifting or being unfocused concerning God's plan for their life. I have discovered that no matter how much you pray, God doesn't do for us what he created us to do for ourselves. We have got to get serious about our personal transformation. We need to become focused, devoted, driven, and disciplined in response to God's calling. We need to do what we can do, which includes being patient and trusting God. If and when we stumble we must repent and get back up. If we lose a round in our spiritual fight we must rise again and prepare for the next.

Our calling is God's choice but being chosen is our choice.

PREACH THE WORD!!!!! I Love It!

2010-03-16T21:24:00.004-04:00

The following three paragraphs are Charles Swindoll's response to J. R. Kerr's question, "What advice do you have for young preachers?" I recently read this in the March 2010 issue of 'Christianity Today'.

"I want them to say, 'I want to get serious about being a bible preacher. I'm not going to fool around with a lot of entertaining stuff. I'm going to take people to the Word, and I'm going to keep it interesting. I'm going to go through the books of the Bible and subjects that are significant, and I'm going to pour myself into this as a regular habit of my life. I want to be known in 20 years as a expositor. I want to be able to take the Scriptures and help people see how relevant they are. I'm going to start with Romans verse 1 of Chapter 1, and when I finish Chapter 16, people are going to say', "Oh my goodness, what have I missed half my life?"

"If I ever wrote a book on preaching, it would contain three words: Preach The Word. Get rid of all the other stuff that gets you sidetracked; preach the Word. Second Timothy 4:2 says, 'Be prepared in season and out of season.'"

"A mentor of mine, Ray Stedman, used to say, 'Keep your finger on the text whether you are teaching it or applying it. Keep them with their eyes on the Word and tell them about Jesus.' It's as simple as that."

I love Charles Swindoll's words. Why is this so difficult to find? Lots are entertaining, plenty are boring. Sidetracked? Ha yeah! Many jump around grabbing verses from here and there. I hear so many reference scripture but so few preach it or teach it. They seem to have their own points, then they search the scriptures through the many translations to find a verse with the words they want, which they take out of context, to try to prove their point. Seems to me their points should be determined, molded and adjusted by the context of the scripture, not twisting and molding scripture to make their points.

Maybe I'm just too critical. I've been told that a time or two.

Choice and Consequences

2010-03-07T19:15:00.003-05:00

God has given us this thing that we call free will or choice.

We make thousands of choices each day. Most of them we make seemingly without even knowing. Like getting up to go to work is actually a choice. Brushing my teeth is a choice. Getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom is a choice. What I eat or drink is a choice. If I eat or drink is a choice. Even when we don't make a choice we actually do. We choose to not make a choice.

Some things we can't choose, like our parents, siblings, and extended families. (I however did get to choose my wife, whom I would choose again) We can't choose if we are male or female, we can't choose our hair or eye color. We can choose to change all these things but we can't choose them. But most things in life boil down to our choices.

As I have reflected on the many choices I have made in my life I began to realize a couple of things.

First, I have been able to choose to do or not to do many things, but I have never had the opportunity to choose the consequences of my choices. Think about that. I choose to eat the whole bag of chips, or to go outside without a coat or hat on, but I can't choose the results from that choice. I can choose to smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or abuse drugs but I can't choose the consequences. If I could have seen beforehand the consequences of some of my choices, I believe I would have chosen differently. Wow! Am I continuing to make similar choices knowingly or unknowingly today that will lead to regrets tomorrow?

Secondly, I realize that when I make one choice there are many other choices that are already made for me. When I choose one thing it automatically eliminates many other choices. For example when I choose to honor my wife there are many other choices already made for me simply because I made that one choice.

This video is kind of a representation of part of my life. Metaphorically I made the decision to push the red truck. Then throughout my life there were consequences as a result of my choice to push that truck. Just like the video, the further in life I went the more destructive the results became. I definitely chose to push the truck but I certainly didn't choose the results. By making one choice there were several others made for me. Often there is a high price to pay. Even to this day I live with the consequences of my choices years ago. Was it worth the price? NO!

Then there is Jesus!

The Bible says in John 15:16 that He chose me! And as a consequence of him choosing me, he had to hang on a cross. He died on a cross because he chose me! That is the ultimate consequence to pay for a choice. Am I worth the price? I say NO! But his love for me says yes.

It is now my choice to live my life for him. By choosing Him many other choices are now made for me. By making new choices I begin to see blessings and new and good consequences. There are times when I still get slimed with the consequences of past decisions but I am thankful my Heavenly Father is faithful and continues to wash me clean through the blood of his Son. Over and over and over again.

The Changin Of The Boots

2010-02-28T21:00:00.002-05:00

Old boots are comfortable. My feet feel like they belong in them. My old boots have molded themselves to the contours of my feet through many days of working and many miles of walking. They still work. They keep my feet warm and dry. They still protect my feet from sharp and abrasive objects. The leather is a little cracked and worn, the soles are a little thinner, and the shoestrings broke three times but I just knotted them together. They still work and feel great. My feet love them. I love them. Why would I buy a new pair? Maybe because my wife has been begging me for 6 months to buy a new pair. Umm...nope. (I think her insistence might be their fragrance) Why get rid of something that still works and makes my feet feel great?

Just ask my back and my knees. At the end of the day serious aches in my knees and horrible back pain. All of the support is gone. The wear and tear from the years and miles have taken there toll. They might make my feet feel great but my knees and back don't agree. Even though they seem to be still doing their job well, there is evidence in other areas that they are failing miserably. I didn't think I bought boots to make my back and knees feel good. I thought I bought boots to protect my feet and to keep them warm and dry. After all isn't that their purpose? Yes it is, but I've learned my boots affect much more than just my feet.

My back and knees feel better but my new boots don't feel so great. They hurt my feet. They seem stiff and don't conform to my feet very well. My feet hurt pretty much all day. They are uncomfortable. They really make me want to just put the old boots back on. After all they still work and my feet would feel better. Why would I buy and wear boots that make my feet hurt? Because I realize this pain is temporary and the benefits will be long lasting.

Sometimes the old things that we think are working well, really aren't. We just might need to ask for another opinion or perspective. The old and comfortable ways often are causing pain or destruction in areas we would never think of. Often times the old things just flat out stink too. The new and different might be painful or uncomfortable at first, but the blessings and the healing that would take place would make it all well worth it.

Why Do I See It Different?

2010-02-24T20:35:00.001-05:00

Have you ever been surrounded by people yet felt all alone?

Everywhere you go there are people but it seems that not one of them is seeing the same things that you are seeing.

I am certain that what I am seeing is really happening but those around me seem oblivious to it all. Is it just me? Is my vision warped, distorted or obstructed? Have I lost all focus? Or am I so focused on what's happening around me that I've lost perspective of who I am or where I'm at or even of what I'm actually seeing?

I wonder sometimes. I wonder if people are so focused on the track they're walking down that they can't see the train coming. Then I wonder if I'm so focused on the train coming that I'm way off on another track.

I find it weird that two people can be standing side by side and see nothing the same.
Here is an example. How many legs does this elephant have?

Most people would assume four. After all, every elephant I have ever seen has had four legs. But just because I haven't seen it doesn't mean it's not real... right?

Is it sight, vision or discernment that tells us what we are seeing, where we are going, or what we are experiencing?

Here's another one. I see a man's face. What do you see? If you don't see it does that mean it's not there?

Yeah, what he said!

2010-02-21T07:03:00.003-05:00

These are not my words but I liked them so much I stole them from Dave Kraft and Mars Hill Church to share with you.

Passion Builders & Stealers

Dave Kraft

Leadership Development Pastor at Mars Hill Church

Those Who Fuel Or Drain Us

Allow me to take a stab at defining certain kinds of people, and how they can either further our vision and passion or stop it dead in its tracks. I am thankful for the writings of Gordon McDonald upon which some of these thoughts are based.

People who fuel our passion.
These are our mentors and role models; they are people we can spend time with or whose writing, thinking, and speaking expands and deepens our passion and purpose in life. Someone has observed that what we are tomorrow will be a result of the people we meet and the books we read today. I believe that with all my heart.
People who catch our passion.
These are the teachable and the moldable; they are the people who are hungry for God and hungry to make their lives count. They want to grow, to learn, and to see God at work in their lives. They will take what we give and pass it along to others, multiplying our investment many times over.
People who enjoy our passion.
Most people we know fall into this category. On the one hand, they don’t take a great deal from us, but then neither do they add a great deal. It’s easy to spend a lot of time with these “nice people.” They are fun and easy to be with.
People who drain our passion.
This is where the major energy leaks can occur. These are the needy people, the people that struggle, or the people who demand hours and hours of our energy, but don’t often seem to profit from it. Yet, they keep returning with the same problems and want more of us. They are often the squeaky wheels that get the most, if not all, of the oil of our passion.

The Need Is Not The Call

As a leader, I want to make sure that I am spending most of my time with those in category 1 and 2, and to be careful and prayerful about allowing too much time with those in 3 and 4. With God’s help, I want to be proactive, not reactive. Those in categories 3 and 4 can, and more than likely will, take most of my time if I am not careful.

Nice people are easy and enjoyable to be with, and draining people are so needy that it is easy to allow the lion’s share of time to go to them. This is not to say that “nice and needy” people are not important or should not be loved. However, as a wise person once said, “The need is not the call.”

A Strategy of Investment

To prevent “energy leaks,” I need to determine what good things I am not going to do. It is an issue of the strategy of investment, not the value of people. As leaders, we should be keenly aware of the fact that our energy is finite and can be depleted. We must guard that spiritual energy (passion) and prayerfully dispense it, not portion it out as first-come, first-serve.

Gordon McDonald confessed that at one point in his ministry he was spending most, if not all, of his time with the “nice and needy” people and had little time left over for those who fueled and caught his passion. He thought he was where he was most needed, but realized it was an “error of great magnitude.”

A prayer of mine for years has been based on Jeremiah 42:3: “[Pray] that the Lord your God may show us the way we should go, and the thing that we should do.” As a leader, is your passion growing and being strategically invested, or have you developed some slow leaks?

He Lived Out His Words

2010-02-18T20:45:00.003-05:00

"It is the characteristic excellence of the strong man that he can bring momentous issues to the fore and make a decision about them. The weak are always forced to decide between alternatives they have not chosen themselves."

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer-

Oswald and my driveway

2010-02-17T19:53:00.005-05:00

Oswald Chambers says, “Before God can use a man greatly, he must wound him deeply.”

I say, "Were not May 13, 2007 and September 1, 2008 enough Lord? If not, do what you must, but my greatest desire is to be used by you greatly."

If the snows continue this is what it will take to plow our driveway.

I Believe

2010-02-16T21:00:00.001-05:00

“Unbelief says, ‘Some other time, but not now; some other place, but not here; some other people, but not us.’ Faith says, ‘Anything He did anywhere else He will do here; anything He did any other time He is willing to do now; anything He ever did for other people He is willing to do for us!’ With our feet on the ground, and our head cool, but with our heart ablaze with the love of God, we walk out in this fullness of the Spirit, if we will yield and obey. God wants to work through you!”

A. W. Tozer

Tell It Like It Is Mr. Wesley

2010-02-15T19:35:00.004-05:00

“What has exceedingly hurt you in time past, nay, and I fear, to this day, is lack of reading. I scarce ever knew a preacher who read so little. And perhaps, by neglecting it, you have lost the taste for it. Hence your talent in preaching does not increase. It is just the same as it was seven years ago. It is lively, but not deep; there is little variety; there is no compass of thought. Reading only can supply this, with meditation and daily prayer. You wrong yourself greatly by omitting this. You can never be a deep preacher without it, any more than a thorough Christian. Oh begin! Fix some part of every day for private exercise. You may acquire the taste which you have not; what is tedious at first will afterward be pleasant. Whether you like it or not, read and pray daily. It is for your life; there is no other way; else you will be a trifler all your days, and a pretty, superficial preacher. Do justice to your own soul; give it time and means to grow. Do not starve yourself any longer. Take up your cross and be a Christian altogether. Then will all the children of God rejoice (not grieve) over you, and in particular yours.”

John Wesley, writing to a younger minister, quoted in "Letters Along The Way".

SAD BUT TRUE

2010-02-14T21:41:00.002-05:00

So many look to present day leaders for wisdom, vision and direction. That's cool, but I seem to find that many great leaders of the past have had all this present day stuff figured out along time ago. It applied then and it still applies today.

(Ummm...obviously Jesus is the greatest, first and foremost because He is God. He is above all and is actually the answer to it all. This post could/should end right there but I will continue.)

I wonder if Hybles, Warren, Stanley, Noble, Bell, Driscoll and the likes will be remembered for their wisdom and impact on Christianity and The Kingdom of God compared to the likes of Wesley, Tozer, Bonhoeffer, Lewis, Calvin, Spurgeon, and Edwards?

The following excerpt is from a book written in 1981 by a woman born in 1914. If her husband's question and their conclusion rang true 29 years ago, how much more so does it today? So sad, yet so true from my perspective.

“‘Edith, I wonder what would happen to most churches and Christian work if we awakened tomorrow, and everything concerning the reality and work of the Holy Spirit, and everything concerning prayer, were removed from the Bible. I don’t mean just ignored, but actually cut out – disappeared. I wonder how much difference it would make?’ We concluded it would not make much difference in many board meetings, committee meetings, decisions and activities.”

Edith Schaeffer, "The Tapestry".

More from the leaders that inspire me and that I most respect coming daily this week.

Send Me

2010-02-14T13:07:00.003-05:00

I be likin' and feelin' this!

Living In The Tension

2010-02-11T16:20:00.003-05:00

It all seems so difficult.

What are my responsibilities and what are God's responsibilities?

I often see or listen to others who side in opposite corners.

In one corner are those that believe God is sovereign so they have no responsibilities. God decides and makes everything happen in His way and in His time.

In the other corner are those that don't rely or wait on God for anything. They believe they are responsible for making all decisions and for making all things happen.

I have lived in both corners at times.

I try to live somewhere in the middle.

In the tension

Sometimes it is really tough though. How do you know for sure if you are supposed to be going after something or if you are to be waiting for God to open up doors or even just dump it on your lap? The last thing I want is, to be doing something when I should be waiting, or to be waiting when I should be doing something.

Prayer is key but relying on prayer ALONE is never God's way of achieving His goals on earth. He is indeed sovereign, but He has placed on all of us significant human responsibility.

I believe at times His work is not accomplished because we do not do all we can to be prepared for the task that lies ahead of us. The opportunity comes and passes us by because we were not properly equipped to meet it. Sometimes we don't even recognize the opportunity! And if we do we don't have the knowledge, skill, or confidence to do what we must to be successful.

Then there is the other extreme. God's work fails to get done because we take matters into our own hands. We don't seek God's help. We rely on our own wisdom and skills. We may use the words like "prayer", and "faith" but that's all they are...merely words. We say the right things but our actions and attitudes don't line up with our words. Being patient and waiting for God to work is often very difficult. Many times our desires are in line with His, but not the timing. Sometimes we just aren't ready to receive what He has for us or we aren't prepared for what He's going to require of us.

The funny thing is I believe many times when we are waiting on Him, He is actually waiting on us. Other times He is doing work elsewhere, where we can't see, to prepare the opportunity for us. Sometimes He is doing a work on us and we don't even know it.

What?

Does any of this even make any sense?

I am pretty sure I have said absolutely nothing, and proved absolutely nothing. Thanks for wasting your time reading this. Now go wait and go do something. In the meantime, I am gonna prepare like it all depends on me, and pray and know that it all depends on Him.

A Grandpa At Last

2010-01-29T23:09:00.009-05:00

Simon Ryan Humphrey - 6 lb 15 oz - 19 inches - Born January 29, 2010 at 7:23 pm. One of God's most recent miracles, one of my greatest blessings. Given only by God's gracious hand.

Time to start being the grandpa I always wanted. I wrote those words as a reminder to myself. Time to put my words into action.

I love you Simon Ryan Humphrey...and Jesus loves you too. May His grace and peace be with you always.

Like My Back Aint Got No Bone

2010-01-27T21:00:00.000-05:00

Work, study, prepare. Work, study, prepare. Pray, pray, pray. Jesus, grandbaby, Jesus, grandbaby. Pray, pray, pray. Late nights and early mornings. Get up do it again. Time and mind overload. Sometimes I just need to relax, withdraw, retreat, mellow out, and tap my toes a bit. None better than BB.

Forget About It

2010-01-17T19:07:00.000-05:00

Disregard my last post. I'm preachin'!

Help Me Out

2010-01-16T22:40:00.006-05:00

I'm confused.

What is the difference between speaking, teaching, and preaching in the context of a church building on a Sunday morning?

Are they the same thing? Can you accomplish all three at the same time? Are there certain qualifications that have to be met and accepted before you can be considered qualified to do any of these? If so, what are they? Is it a calling from God that is required? Just an invitation? Just a desire? A passion? A gift? Or do you need degrees and pedigrees?

Some people have come up to me and said, "I hear you are speaking", others have commented that they heard, "I was teaching" and others have said I was going to be "preaching". Well heck, one person even said I would be giving a "talk" but they failed to say that I would be "talking" and for that I'm thankful.

"Preaching" sends chills down my spine. It makes me think of the old baptist preacher, preaching hellfire and brimstone. You know, cramming condemnation down my throat and making me feel like I am the Antichrist.

"Teaching" makes me think of my boring English teacher. She was constantly trying to keep my attention while attempting to teach me about stuff that she knew very well, but I could really have cared less about. Stuff like Shakespeare, speling "punctuation; reading and righting.

"Speaking" makes me think of someone who speaks because they HAVE to say something, but not necessarily because they have something to say.

"Talking" just reminds me of chatter or noise. People who like to listen to themselves talk.

All four scare me a bit.

Oh yeah...do you deliver a sermon, a message, or give a lecture, a speech, or a talk? Is it really delivered or given if it's not received or accepted?

Who am I and what am I doing? Better yet, do I really want to be that or do that? I don't believe I do. No preacher, no teacher, no speaker and no talker. No thanks. No disrespect to those that do it and do it well. You're all needed. Well the preacher and the teacher anyway.

Maybe my perspective is just tainted. Maybe I am not any of those or maybe I am or have been all of those at one time or another. Maybe it just doesn't matter. Maybe it just is what it is, I don't know.

Maybe I'm a herald.

herald n. 1. A person who proclaims important news; a crier or messenger. 2. A person or thing that announces or gives indication of something to come.

I like that description. Proclaim, announce, and usher in. Oh yeah, that's it. That's cool.

But can't a preacher, a teacher, a speaker, or a talker do that too? What are the qualifications and do I meet them?

I think I will just be me and ask Jesus to pour out of my heart and words. I think I'm qualified to do that. Call it what you want but please give me your insight.

Here and There

2010-01-10T20:41:00.002-05:00

I've been investing lots of time here. I love spending time here. I have a hunger for a clearer understanding of God's word. I've been spending hours studying it, researching, investigating, and rereading it. I exert a very limited amount of physical energy but nothing tires me more quickly or drains me more completely. Why is it that when I get up from that chair I feel like I have ran a marathon yet I haven't moved more than a few feet? Why is it that I spend hours studying and yet I walk away with more questions, less understanding and a cloudier view of it all? Just when I think I have a passage of scripture or a word nailed down I am challenged or enlightened in a new way that creates more questions that leads to new answers that lead to new questions. Yes indeed His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. It's so amazingly frustrating, tiring and awesome. I love spending time here.

But I experience different thoughts and feelings of awe and amazement when I am standing here looking out my back door. When I spend time here it all becomes so much clearer. Clearly He is God, and He is powerful, and He is beautiful, and He is in control, and I am abundantly blessed and humbled.

I'm Soon To Be Grandpa But I'm Still A Kid!

2010-01-09T20:30:00.011-05:00

"DO IT AGAIN...DO IT AGAIN"

2009-12-30T20:46:00.007-05:00

"Do it again, do it again!!!... Do it again, DO IT AGAIN!!!" That's what I hear every holiday when I'm with my little 4 year old nephew.

You see, when he was maybe 2 years old I taught him how he could do a flip by walking up my legs while I held his hands. This took a considerable amount of time due to the fact that he was afraid of me to begin with. It took time just to coax him from behind his mommy's leg. I had to get down on my hands and knees and reach out my hand. I had to lay down flat and coax him with high pitched "c'mon's " before he would finally come jump on me and pull the hair on my chin. After more and more time playing he became more and more comfortable with me. He would hold my hand and I began to teach him to walk up my legs. He couldn't understand at first but eventually he caught on. He would take 1 or 2 steps up my legs and jump back to the floor. It took time and it took patience but finally he did it. He walked up the legs and I gave him a quick flip before he could jump back down to the floor. Once he did the flip and he experienced the thrill, and realized that I would hold on to his hands...well, he wanted to do it again.

Now, almost 3 years later, whenever he sees me he immediately grabs both hands and starts walking up my legs. He will do it over and over and each time he yells while giggling, "DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN!!!" Now there is no fear of me and no fear of flipping. He now likes to hang upside down for extended periods before he finishes the flip. Full confidence in his ability to flip and full faith I won't let go. Total trust.

Yeah, I'm that little boy doing flips while holding the hands of God. It took time, it took patience, and it took alot of coaxing. But I've done a few flips now and there is nothing like the thrill or excitement of putting yourself in a position where you are totally relying on God...where if He doesn't come through, your gonna fail BIG TIME.

Well God showed up again for the holidays and He was yelling my name. "Come here Son, it's time for something new." The flips were scary but it's been a couple years since I did the last one so I was getting pretty comfortable. Now it's time to get uncomfortable again. This time He is throwing me high in the air and letting go. I am praying I don't lose sight of Him. It's gonna take total trust and full faith that His hands will be there to catch me. I know they will be there because He is always faithful. Once I fall into His hands safely I'm sure I'll be quickly yellin, "DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN!!!"

Carlos and Danny

2009-12-20T13:36:00.002-05:00

Go here and check out Carlos' words and an amazingly awesome video. Too cool. Immediately brought Hebews 13:2 to my mind. "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." I love it!

Chillin'

2009-12-16T20:27:00.003-05:00

Tried to study tonight but last night was a late night in the basement with the bros and today was a long, busy, tiring day at work. As a result my mind was mush and I wasn't left with much focus. Decided to chill and find some mellow tunes that touched me. I'm feeling this right now.

Tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
And it serves to remind me
That what I have means nothing at all
Compared to your glory, Oh lord

How long till your voice speaks clearly?
How long till your arms envelope me?
I cry be my strength when I am weak
Oh Lord have mercy on me please

My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me the strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry

Lord Willin'

2009-12-11T19:29:00.006-05:00

I wanna be a part of something like this again.

That's My Boy

2009-12-09T20:51:00.006-05:00

Yep, he is always the jokester. Couldn't find a picture where he's not making faces so today the jokes on him. Double deuces today for my only son. Happy Birthday Justin aka Bob!

Proud to be your Pops and I love you. I will always cherish those father-son moments when we were both little boys. Baseball, fishin', killin deer, and ridin 4-wheelers. Skippin stones, changin oil, carvin punkins, and building snowmen. Those many miles driving on vacation when I swore I was gonna kill you and your sister both. I miss lookin down at that little boy. I miss holding his hand when we crossed the street. I miss jumpin in the piles of leaves and pushin you in the wheelbarrow. I miss those never ending questions of why? and how come Daddy? I miss that little boy reaching up to me wanting to be held or wanting to set on my lap. I miss those bear hugs and the kisses goodnight. I miss that skinny little kid in his tighty whities running down the steps and flipping over the couch. Sometimes I think I wished those years away.

Now you are growing and maturing into a man and it is so tough to watch and allow you to go down your own road. It is hard to shut up and let you learn from your own mistakes, especially when they all seem to be the ones I have already made or continue to make. But man does my chest swell up when you make the right choice or the wise decision. I see you growing and maturing and being responsible in so many ways. I struggle with the tension of being there to help or support, as opposed to interfering or getting in the way. I guess that's part of being a Dad. I've learned as I went in the whole Dad thing and I continue to learn to this day. I know I have failed you in many ways as a father and for that I apologize once more, but know this...you have never failed me as my son. I love you more than you will ever know and I am proud to say, "Yep! That's my boy!".

Committed to Marriage

2009-12-06T16:50:00.005-05:00

Marriage is tough stuff. It takes hard work and sacrifice. I know of many marriages that are struggling and even falling apart right now. Some are much more public than others. I was in a marriage that was once crumbling and falling apart but God restored it. Going through that makes it even more difficult to see people wanting to quit or give up on their spouse and marriage. I KNOW God is in the business of bringing to life things that are dead. It takes work but God is faithful.

God uses marriage as an analogy of his relationship with Israel all throughout scripture. If you think you have been hurt or betrayed by your loved one, search the scriptures for how deeply and repeatedly our Heavenly Father has been betrayed by his bride. Actually take a look in the mirror and think of how we all have deeply wounded and betrayed our Creator. Not everyone has committed adultery against their spouses but I believe we all have committed adultery in our hearts when it comes to our relationship with God.

Jeremiah 2:2 "I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown."

The covenant people of God are his wife. They have often been unfaithful and broken the marriage covenant but would God divorce his bride or quit on his marriage? NO!

But what about her horrible adulteries that were committed against him? Ezekiel 16:32 "You adulterous wife! You prefer strangers to your own husband!" Surely divorce is legit in these circumstances! Nope...not in God's eyes.

Then what? Separation? Yep! Judgment? Yep! Ezekiel 16:58-59 "You will bear the consequences of your lewdness and your detestable practices, declares the Lord. This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will deal with you as you deserve, because you have despised my oath by breaking the covenant."

Then what? Is that the end? Does God just separate and pass judgment then end the marriage? Nope! Ezekiel 16:60 "Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you."

But isn't it wrong to take her back after she has laid with so many others? Jeremiah 3:1b in the ESV says it best. (at least to fit in with the song I am putting at the end)..." 'You have played the whore with many lovers; and would you return to me?' declares the Lord."

Ahhh...but what a husband he is! Amazing in his grace! So full of mercy! Jeremiah 3:12 - Go, proclaim this message toward the north: "Return, faithless Israel," declares the Lord, I will frown on you no longer, for I am merciful,' declares the Lord, 'I will not be angry forever." That sounds like forgiveness and reconciliation!

God will not divorce. Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

God is wholly committed to saving and enriching his marriage. Are you?

Bittersweet

2009-12-02T20:13:00.007-05:00

Tuesdays are always bittersweet. Bitter due to the fact that I will not see my wife all day and night because of work and her Bible study. Sweet because I will be hanging out with a bunch of friends one week or hanging with just one friend the next. This Tuesday the bitter and the sweet seemed stronger than ever but for different reasons.

When I arrived at work on Tuesday morning I was informed that a man whom I deliver packages to regularly had taken his own life. I was totally shocked and saddened. A man who seemed to be so happy and by the worlds standards had it all, suddenly decided to end it all. But why? I heard what was believed to be the primary reason but who could know for certain all that he was battling. My mind flashed back to six months ago, when another man I knew personally chose the same ending. What pushed them to make that choice? This made Tuesday morning a little more bitter than the norm.

The day went on and by afternoon my thoughts began to focus on the friends/brothers that were going to be gathering in my basement that night. By about 6:45 they start pulling in the drive. One car after the other. That is when the SWEET part starts. We chat, pray and within minutes one of the new guys shares his testimony of a restored marriage, freedom from addictions and a radically changed life. So powerful and so encouraging. Great discussions follow and then another man shares some of his deepest, darkest, humiliating, lifelong struggles. Things that he has shared with VERY few others. What courage to share and to be transparent. He made himself to be totally vulnerable to another 12 men, two whom he had never met before the evening began. That takes guts. That takes a man. By sharing his battle with us, another brother shares that he has also struggled with this burden and has carried it and hid it within him his whole life. Suddenly two men realize that they are not alone. Not only that, they realize there are other men who love and accept them regardless of their weaknesses, struggles, sins, or burdens.

Then another brother shares how he had confessed his sins months earlier at our group and how God has been faithful to His word in lifting that heavy burden off his shoulders. He expressed how healing had begun and stated that as hard as he tried on his own, he never experienced the freedom that he now has. All of this made Tuesday night a little sweeter than the norm!

We need to bring these burdens, sins, struggles and weaknesses into the light, not hide them in the dark recesses of our lives. When we confess our sins to one another and when we share those struggles and burdens with one another satan looses any stronghold he might have. The enemy lies to us and tells us we won't be accepted and tells us that we are all alone in our battles. That is such a lie! Satan is a punk and he is a liar!

We all have something in the dark recesses of our lives. The most difficult thing is finding a place where we feel safe to share these things. I am thankful I have a place and even more thankful for the men who share my safe place and use it!

All day today my mind couldn't escape these questions. Did the men that took their lives have a safe place to share their struggles, their burdens, their sins, or their weaknesses? And if they didn't could their lives have been different if they did have that place?

My Wednesday was equally bittersweet.

My Chrysalis

2009-11-29T21:40:00.001-05:00

The journey to becoming like Christ takes a lifetime. Along this journey we all will face different seasons, designed by God, for specific purposes. Unlike the seasons on our calenders, these seasons don't necessarily happen in a certain order and it seems impossible to determine how long they will last. Actually I believe the length of the season has more to do with how we respond to the season than anything else. My difficult seasons seem to last a loooonggg time. I tend to be a stubborn, bullheaded one. I believe we pass through the seasons many times on our journey but each time is different. Each time God does a deeper work within us.

No season is as difficult to go through as the season of darkness. As I said earlier my seasons seem to be lengthy and this season of darkness was not an exception. It is painful and there are moments of great doubt, fear, and challenges that threaten to rock your faith. I call it a season of darkness because the pain and disappointment is severe enough to be called death. I believe this season is unavoidable in our spiritual journey. Well, I'm not completely sure "ALL" Christians experience it, but I know many have and those that have know it is real, it is dark, and it is difficult. It is a time of brokenness that eventually leads to incredible change and blessings. It's a time of deep transformation in a place of personal darkness. A chrysalis. I wish I had a more rugged, manly example but I guess this is part of that work of humility.

During this time of darkness and difficulty God is at work. He starts revealing impurities and sin in our own life that greatly affect our relationship with Him. He begins to expose weaknesses in our foundations that need serious attention. This season of darkness, weakness, and suffering reshapes us and begins to give us a new approach or direction to our journey.

Throughout this extended season I have asked God, "Why?" on numerous occasions. God has revealed several reasons why He has allowed this season.

1. to create humility
2. to reveal my weaknesses
3. to prove His greatness
4. to break pride
5. to cleanse my soul
6. to prevent spiritual apathy
7. to teach me deep spiritual truths that I would not learn any other way.
8. to remind me to pursue Him
9. to test me
10. to make me more like Jesus

This season of darkness has created an intimacy like nothing else could do. The difficulties were not the toughest part, it was the surrendering to Him that made the season so long and so dark. Surrender and a willingness to be broken and transformed were/are the keys to this seasons end. In that end the time of pain becomes the source of one of life's greatest blessings...being transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

Dang... I thought I was mature!

2009-11-09T20:04:00.007-05:00

"Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension."

-Rick Warren

If this quote is true I am rarely complacent and rarely mature.

Have You Ever...?

2009-11-08T19:00:00.007-05:00

Have you ever prayed to God about a desire of your heart for an extended amount of time, only to have that prayer answered, and then you question whether or not it was God that brought it to fruition? You then feel as if you need to seek confirmation in others ways? I guess it would be like Gideon and the fleece. If this is truly you God then show me in another way, speak through another person, show me another sign. That's where I am at right now. I have cried out to God for the desires of my heart for some time, and things are happening and doors are opening and now I start doubting. I begin thinking maybe it is a snare of satan. Maybe it is a trap that has been set and if I walk through it my dreams will be crushed and I will make a fool out of myself again or worst yet, taint the name of our God.

So yesterday I decided I was going to go out in the woods, find a tree to lean against, and listen for the voice of God. I took my bible, and a journal along with me. I prayed that God's voice would be amplified and that I would have eyes to see and ears to hear His words. I just sat there and waited in silence. I opened up the scriptures to the place I had bookmarked from small group the night before. We were discussing the devotional of the day in My Utmost For His Highest. It was simply the last 4 words of John 11:26 "Do you believe this?" It spoke to me in a powerfully different way in that moment. I just meditated on those words in silence. God was speaking to my heart. I was going to another place in my heart and soul. Suddenly I saw a bright light move through the treetops and then flash in my eyes quickly. It was the sun reflecting off my son's car as he pulled in the drive. He had no idea I was out there and I had no reason to let him know I was. I was meeting with God. Things were happening...God was speaking. Right then I had an overwhelming sense that I needed to go back to the house and talk to my son. Why? I could talk to him later. I was in the middle of my plan to meet with God. I conceded. I went, we talked, and it was one of the longest heart to heart conversations I have had with my son in quite sometime. I saw God through the work he is doing in the life of my son. Amazing things were said and amazing things are happening. Praise God for the small victories. I returned back to my spot in the woods and I tried to go back to the same place in my mind and heart. I just sat there quietly, listening for more. Suddenly I feel a vibration in my side pocket and realize I mistakenly carried a worldly attachment with me to the woods. My cell phone... I wasn't planning on answering it but I thought I should look to see who it was. It was a good friend and again I felt led to interrupt my meeting with God to answer it. I'm so glad I did. A friend was calling me to go with him to pray for his mom. So off my wife and I went to meet our friend, to listen to our friend's mother share her heart, and to intercede for a woman in desperate need of feeling the love, grace, mercy and forgiveness of her heavenly Father. Another awesome experience. God had spoken to me again in another way through another person. Amazing stuff. This morning I woke up and grabbed Blackaby's devotional, "Experiencing God Day By Day" to read this. It blew me away. Focus on God's calling but take the time to minister to others along the way. It seemed as if that is exactly what was happening yesterday.

Then later this morning I stumbled upon this blog for the first time. The following is an outtake of Banning Liebsher's post on 10-19-09. These are not my words, but they sure felt like mine as I was reading them.

"I have been thinking recently about 1 Thessalonians 5:24 which says, "He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." Three things stand out right away. One, God is calling us. God's voice is beckoning us to go deeper, to live holier, to love more, to move in signs and wonders, to embrace freedom, and many other things. We must hear the voice of God calling us and respond by giving ourselves wholeheartedly to what He is doing. Our heart must stay tender to His voice in our lives. Second, God is faithful. He never calls us and then abandons us. He is always by our side. The Holy Spirit comes alongside us and is our Helper. No matter how dark it may get, no matter how hard it may seem, no matter how it seems as if the odds are stacked against us, God will never leave our side. He is faithful. God is full of faith. Many times God calls us to things we do not have faith for, but it's okay because He is full of faith for what He called us to. Third, He will do it. This one is huge for me. It seems that in so many areas of my life I feel in over my head. Stretched beyond my capability. It seems that what God is calling me to is impossible. But what I root myself firmly in is that truth that when God calls me, He is faithful to do it. God will get me where I need to be. When I am weak, He is strong. No matter how overwhelmed I feel by His voice calling me, I know that when He calls He immediately goes to work to accomplish what He is calling me to. God is so faithful. Where would we be without the faithfulness of God!"

I just about cried. As I said earlier I asked God if He would show me in another way, speak through another person, show me another sign. I believe He did that this weekend. I think God just might be in this. Do you?

Pornography From A Different Angle

2009-11-04T21:19:00.013-05:00

Christians, Pastors and Church Pornography Statistics

A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.

51% of pastors say cyber-porn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001).

Over half of evangelical pastors admits viewing pornography last year.

Roger Charman of Focus on the Family's Pastoral Ministries reports that approximately 20 percent of the calls received on their Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.

In a 2000 Christianity Today survey, 33% of clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit Web site. Of those who had visited a porn site, 53% had visited such sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.

29% of born again adults in the U.S. feel it is morally acceptable to view movies with explicit sexual behavior (The Barna Group).

57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005).

Wow! I wonder if those stats would decline if they watched the following video. When you look at porn this is the kind of stuff you are supporting. I believe this is one of satan's most powerful, destructive, and addictive ministries.

(This video is not what I call graphic but I would call it very raw and disturbing. Consider that my disclaimer.)

Jesus Culture - Chris Quilala / Kim Walker

2009-11-02T20:46:00.006-05:00

Just sharing some awesome worship that I can't stop listening to! Seriously, off the hook, off the chain worship right here.

Trusted Friends

2009-10-30T23:49:00.006-04:00

Trusting someone does not mean that we have thoroughly tested that person out and proved that they are trustworthy. Our trust is not based on proof but on a sense, or a instinct, or maybe a feeling. Trust comes from some experience of the other person. Most often trust grows in a relationship of mutual love. One in which we have loved and been loved by the other.

In my efforts to overcome lifelong struggles of insecurity, loneliness, and deep emotional wounding, I have been aided immeasurably by trusted and trusting friends who, with no ulterior motive, see something in me I can't see in myself. They don't just tell me, they relate to me in a way which shows me that I do have value, I do have something to offer, and that I am lovable.

Honesty with others and with ourselves is seldom found in the world or even in the church. To disclose dark secrets to another is risky business. People often sense that if I bare my soul, I will be abandoned by my friends and ridiculed by my enemies. It takes trust and true friendship to confess who you really are and what you are truly feeling and thinking.

But what means the most to me is if a word of correction is needed and the friend offers it directly. ACCOUNTABILITY. I need it! Big time! I admire a friend who has the courage to tell me something unpleasant but necessary - you know, something that others should tell me but don't. (I believe they don't for fear that I won't like them or that I will be angry with them. However they are doing me a huge disservice because they are more concerned with keeping me happy, or not hurting my feelings, than growing me spiritually. ) Just as I need trusted friends to reveal the positive attributes in my life that I don't see, I need them even more to reveal the negative attributes I don't see. It stings at first but when it comes from a trusted friend I know it's because they want whats best for me.

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Just Rope, Throw, & Brand 'Em

2009-10-24T22:52:00.005-04:00

I love old westerns. I grew up watching "Gunsmoke", "The Big Valley", "Bonanza", "The Rifleman" and "Wild Wild West". There was something about them that made me want to be a cowboy. No not like a Kid Rock cowboy but a cattle driving, gun slinging cowboy. I think the theme songs had as much to do with my desire as the actual show did. I knew them all and I sang them often. Something struck me today that made me start to sing them in my head, but I couldn't remember all the words. It started to drive me nuts so I went in search of the forgotten lyrics. As I listened to the theme song of the old western show "Rawhide", it struck something inside of me. It made me think of many a church in today's society.

Keep movin, movin, movin. Though they’re disapprovin keep them doggies movin Rawhide!
Don’t try to understand ‘em, just rope, throw, and brand ‘em. Soon we’ll be living high and wide.
My hearts calculatin. My true love will be waitin, Be waitin at the end of my ride.

Move ‘em on, head ‘em up. Head ‘em up, move ‘em on. Move ‘em on, head ‘em up Rawhide
Count ‘em out, ride ‘em in. Ride ‘em in, count ‘em out. Count ‘em out, ride ‘em in Rawhide!

The Good Stuff

2009-10-21T21:17:00.002-04:00

I have been running and doing so much good "God stuff" that I haven't been giving God much of my "good stuff." This weekend he used several different people to get my attention. Here are five sentences that stuck with me and have changed my direction.

If you don't have your devotional life nailed down...Satan will eat your lunch.
They don't want what you think they need...they need you to be you.
If Jesus isn't the center of it... you're wasting your time.
Differences are blessings or opportunities to grow.
Mercy triumphs over judgement.

Lord help me to realize that only a few things are necessary in life. When you get right down to it there is really only one. To sit at your feet ...listening...looking into your eyes. What a privilege to sit at your nail scarred feet. Grant me the grace to not take that privilege casually or to neglect it like I so often do. May I come humbly and often because you are worthy to be worshiped and adored. I love you...may my actions line up with my words.

I AM SICK OF IT!

2009-10-17T18:35:00.004-04:00

Really?

2009-10-10T14:58:00.000-04:00

"It's not if you win or lose, it's how you play the game."

Really? Who came up with that? It sounds to me like someone trying to make themselves feel good about losing. I have never heard someone say that after they had just won the game. As a matter of fact, I don't ever recall hearing any passionate, competitive, athlete say that even if they had just lost the game. Why? Because it does matter if you win or lose. If it doesn't matter then why are you in the game? Why are you competing?

I'm in it to win it. I don't care if it's tic tac toe, checkers, or a game of pig...I want to win! Don't get me wrong it is important how you play the game. I don't ever think that winning supersedes your integrity, but winning the game is the ultimate goal isn't it? Also, if you lose isn't that proof that you didn't play the game well? Or at least someone else played the game better?

I'm sick of this "make everybody feel good about themselves", "let everyone make the team", "don't hurt anybody's feelings" society we live in today. I thing it is a fertile breeding ground for apathy. If you know me at all you know how I feel about that apathetic, don't care, it's good enough attitude. It makes me wanna lose my Christianity. Where is your heart, where is your passion, drive, and desire?

If you want to feel good about yourself set a goal. Then don't try to reach it, but train to achieve it. It takes TIME, DISCIPLINE, SACRIFICE, PERSEVERANCE and HARD WORK. No shortcuts, no tricks, no pills, no lotions, just flat out passion and determination to achieve the goal.

All that is well and good, but God's Word reinforces all these principles in the race that we are all running. The race we call life. God has given us this life and He has also given us the goal. Paul shares in Acts 20:24, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."

Am I running the race to win? Am I just trying my best or am I training myself to assure victory? This is where winning and losing really does count. There are eternal consequences. How we played the game really won't matter but the outcome most certainly will. We might be the coach who recruits "lost" players to our team or we might be the teammate who encourages another to get off the bench. We might offer a hand to another who stumbled over one of life's hurdles. How we build and strengthen the team doesn't matter. What matters is that we run the race with passion and purpose. Am I passionate or apathetic about this race? Am I running the race just to get a souvenir t-shirt that says I ran the race or am I running the race to get the real prize?

Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

I could never imagine Paul saying, "It's not if you win or lose, it's how you play the game".

Shhhh....Watch and Listen

2009-10-04T18:06:00.005-04:00

This is the song on my heart right now. Powerful words of worship.

She's The One

2009-09-28T00:00:00.004-04:00

On Saturday September 28, 1985 I was 18. I was a kid who thought I had the world figured out. I was so young, so naive, so ignorant. But despite all that, on that day I made one of the best decisions of my life. I married my best friend, my first true love, my high school sweetheart. I couldn't and still don't understand how someone so beautiful and so intelligent could love someone like me. I've been blessed abundantly.

I often hear people say how blessed they are to be married to the same person for so many years. I am amazed by that. In the 24 years of our marriage I've been married to AT LEAST 12 different women. Her social security number and her name hasn't changed in those 24 years but everything else has changed multiple times. I thank God for that! If she was still the same woman I married 24 years ago we would have some serious problems. But those problems wouldn't look like much if they were measured against the problems we would have if I was the same little boy. That would be ugly! Real ugly!! (Although not as ugly as the picture on my previous post)

Through all the different stages and changes in our lives together, there has always been enough to hold us together. Many times it was a thread. Maybe a finer thread and for more years than I ever knew. I was so wrapped up in addictions and pursuing the things of this world I was blind to things outside myself. But she still held on to that thread. But 24 years later here we are..together. Tried, tested, sifted, and refined through fires that would destroy many marriages. It is no longer held together by a thin thread. It is held together by a braided steel cable...a cable that is God at the core. We are braided together in Him. We are strong because He is strong.

New seasons are upon us. A new season in life, marriage and ministry. In 4 months a new journey begins. Lord willing we will welcome a new generation into our family. A grandchild! WOW! I can't wait. Sorry, but we are gonna be the coolest grandparents ever! Our marriage will continue to grow, evolve, and mature. Our ministry assignments also continue to change and grow. It is my prayer God gives us many more years together to do what He has created us to do. To love Him and to love others.

The rest of this post is directed to my lovely bride of 24 years. Obviously you can read on because I am posting it. This is kinda like a baptism. It is an outward expression of a love and passion that I have on the inside.

Kim-

I love you by God's design. God could not have blessed me with a more perfect partner for life and ministry. Thank you for your prayers, your faithfulness, your forgiveness, your grace, your encouragement, your affirmation, your selflessness, your love. Thank you for your obedience to God, and your belief in a broken man who has fallen short of being the man, husband, and father that he is called to be. Thank you for your friendship, your support and for being a mother that our children need, love, and cherish. Thanks for being my mother at times, thanks for running a home that is always warm, clean, and full of yummy things. Thank you for being the secretary, the accountant, the nurse, the shuttle service, the chef, the maid, the mom, the wife and doing it all for no financial gain and little to no expressed appreciation. Then working full time on top of all that. I couldn't do what you do and without you our home would far apart. (Wow, what do I do?)
Thank you, I love you, I need you, I want you, and I am thankful for you even though I don't express it well. You are everything to me. You give me inspiration to keep pursuing this walk of faith. You alone are God's greatest earthly gift to me. Through you God has blessed me abundantly, beginning with our children and continuing through 24 years of marriage. God shines through you to so many and I'm the lucky one who get's to stand , sit, and lie by your side for this lifetime. I adore you, I treasure you, I love you. I'm so proud to call you my wife. My love continues to grow for you. I look forward to growing old with you. Thank you for sharing your life with me.

I love you.

WHAT??

2009-09-26T02:27:00.003-04:00

WOW! That is scary right there. I need to be more cautious with whom I associate. Enough said.

This Tuesday Night's Twelve

2009-09-24T20:59:00.005-04:00

This is what you call "Man Church". Because MAN did we have some CHURCH!! Yea, there are 12 of us. Reggie forgot to open his eyes & smile and as a result he blended in well with the neck of the deer. : ) I know I have been talking about this alot lately but I am consistently amazed by what happens in the basement of our home when men gather and the Holy Spirit comes. This is AWESOME stuff and there is NOTHING like men who love Jesus gathered together and pouring their hearts out to God and one another. Powerful, transforming, energizing, encouraging and amazing. If you are a man... you need something like this!! TRUST ME. Find it and get in it! Can't find it? Start it! Community, accountability, transparency, vulnerability, acceptance, edification, and encouragement. You will find all that here...at the Man Church in the Man Cave. Stop reading about it and do it!!

My Emmaus Road

2009-09-19T11:45:00.001-04:00

WOW! I really am speechless. Another mountaintop Emmaus weekend. God showed up to break chains, tear down walls, transform hearts and to add one more to the kingdom. Heaven was celebrating Saturday night after Hagg's talk. Christian action was the talk and some good friends were in the story that God used to reach one more. I was slightly JACKED UP!!! There are too many stories to tell. Many friendships and relationships were created and strengthened. God answered my prayer of adding a few more men to Tuesday night meetings. Some of these new guys are willing to drive over an hour to fellowship with other godly men. Amazing! Thank you Jesus.

As I have reflected back on what the Walk To Emmaus has meant to me over the past 4 years, I am overwhelmed. Three walks in four years. (2006, 2008, 2009) Every walk was experienced in a different house. There is so much symbolism in that fact. (This does make me slightly hesitant to be a part of another walk. I do not like to move!)

The first walk and the first house were new and exciting. I found Jesus when I was living in that house and I experienced Jesus in a whole new way on that first walk. It was new, fresh and exciting. I couldn't wait to see what was next and how God was going to lead and bless.

The second walk and the second house were much different. I still had great excitement for God and His work but I was in a different place spiritually and physically. I wasn't a table leader and I wasn't a pilgrim. I was in between. I wasn't in the home God gave me originally and I wasn't in the one He was preparing for me. I was in a place where God was molding and shaping me. He was placing a desire to lead in my heart but I had to wait until it was my time and my turn. He placed desires in my heart for a house and for ministry but again He calls me to wait on Him. I had to wait for God's timing, for God's plan. It was a time of testing in so many ways but primarily a testing of my faith. A testing of how deep my roots really were. A season of testing...not leading, not following- not settled, but not moving. Transforming. It was a very bittersweet season. It was difficult but I knew that something would be birthed from that time of difficulty, that time of testing and...waiting.

The third walk- the third house. It's different this time. I was a table leader and I am the spiritual leader of my home. God has taken me from the place I thought I loved to a place that I love more. I have been discipled and I have discipled others. God is calling and moving me into a new season. God is asking for more because He has given me more. I have trained to be proven faithful and true in the smaller things. Bigger things are on the horizon.

I have done my best to follow the model of Jesus and the twelve disciples. First Jesus called them to drop their nets and to follow Him. When He said come follow me I left it all and followed Him immediately. Secondly Jesus taught them, tested them and put them through trials. During my times of teaching, testing and trials I struggled but I have endured. I know and understand there are more of these times to come but the ones I have experienced have prepared me for the ones in the future. Finally He sent the disciples out to do ministry. It was their time to continue His work. He wants me to participate in His work. I am being sent out to minister to others, to share the gospel, and to grow others in Christ. I am a disciple of Christ. Not for what I have done but for what He has done in me.

As I listen for His continued call I know I can't do it in my own strength or with my own abilities. If I step outside His power I will fail. I love being in these situations. I now must continue moving forward, listening for that still small voice. It is His voice I long to hear. It is His affirmation I long to hear. It is His confirming words I long to hear. My own desires mislead me. Others opinions should not concern me. It is His voice I want to hear and obey. It is His direction I want to follow. Speak to me Lord. Amplify your voice. When I hear your voice I will run to you knowing that is exactly where I am to be and exactly what I am to be doing. Use me Lord.